Rizzles Gonna Rizzle
by JoBethMegAmy. my homegirls
Summary: Hi there! This is a collection of one-shots I've written for the occasional rizzlesfanficchallenge over on tumblr - posted here for anyone who's interested and maybe doesn't venture to that site very often. I apologize for the utter lack of creativity in the title, but as the chapters are all quite different, I couldn't think of one more suitable... Chapter 10: Snow.
1. Family

**A/N**: Hi there!** No, don't worry**, I'm not embarking on another fic while I still have two in progress. Not really, anyway. But I know not everyone who visits this site has a tumblr or goes to tumblr, and so I thought for kicks I'd just post some of the stuff I've been putting up over there :)  
Specifically, there's a pretty neat tumblr called "rizzlesfanficchallenge," and each week there's a different prompt - usually pretty generic - for writers. I used to think I didn't do well with oneshot prompts, but a few of these have actually spoken to me.

**Each chapter title is simply the one-word prompt.  
**Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Conner had dared not talk to his father about his suspicions about his mom and her friend, Maura.

He was sixteen, quiet, and a star player on St. Dominic's hockey team. He was the only child in what he'd realized was a loveless marriage only after the divorce.

His father was a lieutenant-colonel in the United States army. His mother was Boston's most revered homicide detective. When Conner was younger, his grandma Angela (or Grangela, as Jane liked to call her) would typically watch him during the day until his mother got home. His father seemed to go abroad whenever he could.

Conner had never been shy about telling his mother he loved her. She'd always considered herself this tough, rock-hard detective, but Conner had melted her heart the instant he'd come into her life. When he'd been younger, nothing could make Jane melt faster than when she'd get the chance tuck him in at night and he'd tell her he thought she was the best mother in the world.

Jane never knew it, but Conner had never expressed a similar sentiment to his father.

It wasn't that he hated the man. He just didn't know him. Casey was generally good about keeping in touch with his boy, and it had once seemed that Conner used to live for those Skype sessions and special letters, phone calls. He'd never felt particularly ignored. Jane was just everything you hoped a parent would be: devoted, invested, fun, funny, demonstrative. When Casey was home, he never seemed to know how to tell or show Conner how he felt. Inevitably they would end up playing a video game together, and while that was fun in its own way, it never left Conner feeling particularly fulfilled.

He was torn. He liked having both his parents around, and always imagined that _this _time when his dad came home, things would be different. Mom would smile all the time. Dad would steal a kiss when he could. They would be embarrassingly affectionate in public, they would laugh and agree on things and love each other fully, so they could be normal like a family was supposed to.

But it just got worse as the years went by. Casey came home, and Jane became increasingly withdrawn. She snapped at her son more. She hugged him less. She worked longer hours than usual, and would sometimes come home tipsy because she'd gone to get drinks with her partner and failed to mention anything about it to her husband. She was irritable, downright unpleasant. Casey finally couldn't take it anymore and wanted a divorce.

Jane had gladly given it to him. Conner had been eleven. Five years had passed, and in that time, Jane seemed a little more relaxed than she ever had been. Less frazzled, less tense. Happiness had seemed to elude her, though, until a few months ago. That was when Dr. Isles, or Maura (as she pretty quickly asked to be called) started coming around more often.

His mom and the doc had always been pals, but there was something different about them now. Conner had first wondered about it when Jane had brought Maura along to her 25th high school reunion. It'd just seemed odd to him that she would bring a friend to something most of her classmates would be bringing spouses or significant others to, but he'd tried telling himself it would be too good to be true…

Tonight was Sunday, and Conner was heading back from a weekend at his father's. As he had an early practice the next morning, he'd come home a bit earlier than usual, and saw Maura's car parked in the spot he usually took. It was a little past 10:00 at night. _Hm…_ Not minding, Connor simply drove around the corner to the nearest available spot, and decided to go to his house the back way.

On his way to the back porch door, he passed the living room window. He hated the notion of spying on his mother, but there were she and Maura in plain sight, sitting and laughing on the couch. They were sharing a blanket, Jane's knees pulled up to her chest and Maura leaning against the opposite arm of the couch, carefully holding a wine glass aloft. Jane had her own glass, which she was just now finishing before glancing at the clock over the humble fireplace. Jane was smiling ruefully now, saying something quiet. Maura nodded and sipped the last of her wine, savoring it before leaning forward.

Conner held his breath, feeling partly nervous but so, so happy for his mother as he pleaded almost out loud.

Their foreheads met, and with Maura's hand on her knee, Jane kissed her quickly on the cheek. Maura responded with a swift kiss on the lips, which Jane couldn't help returning. They stood up nearly in unison, both grinning. It looked as though they were headed for the front door, and Conner tried to decide if he wanted to wait and give his mother the chance to pretend Maura hadn't been there, or if he wanted to surprise them.

He wound up doing something halfway between both: he walked around the front of the house just in time to see Maura walking down the porch. She was smiling to herself in a girlishly happy way. Maura had always been a pleasant woman, easily pleased and very demonstrative in her affection. But Conner had noticed, even as a kid, that there seemed to be a special attitude and smile she reserved just for Jane. Like Detective Rizzoli was the only one who knew just how to make her laugh, just how to make her day, just how to make her comfortable.

"Hey, Maura."

She looked up in surprise, but her smile didn't fall. In fact, it only got wider. "Hi, Conner! How are you?"

"Good. What's up, is everything okay?"

"Of course," she said, noting the concern in his voice. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well it's…it's just sorta late, I guess," he said with a shrug.

"Ah, well," she laughed. "Your mother's waiting for you, dear."

Conner hated pet names. As a kid, he'd given Angela the silent treatment until she promised to stop calling him "cherub." Casey called him "sport," which was all right enough. If anyone else tried calling him "dear," he'd probably retch. But there was something sweet about it when Maura did. He just grinned back, giving her a one-armed hug before walking into the house.

"Mom?"

"Hey, kiddo!" she said. She'd just been putting the wine bottles in the sink. "How was the weekend at dad's?"

"Okay," he said with a shrug, setting himself at the kitchen table and throwing his bag down on the floor. "We took Sam for her first tricycle ride. I thought Wendy was gonna have a heart attack, she was so nervous about it!" (Wendy was the woman Casey had married six months after his divorce from Jane- a nurse who had been helped him recover from his first major injury in the field. She was also the mother of his second child, who Conner was crazy about.)

"Sam's a tough kid, right? I bet she loved it," Jane said.

"Yeah, she did okay." He cleared his throat. "So."

Jane dried off her hands and joined him at the table. "So…?"

"I ran into Maura."

"Really? Where?"

"Um…leaving the house just now."

Jane smiled nervously, clenching one of her fists. "Ah." Conner didn't say anything else, but she seemed to be waiting for him to. She stole a glance at him, and saw only a patient expression on his face. "When're you gonna cut your hair?" she muttered, reaching over and trying to brush away some of his bangs. He laughed and ducked out of the way, and the affectionate sound gave Jane a little boost of courage to go on. "Hey, Connor?"

"Yeah, mom?"

"I've… we need to talk."

Connor whistled and leaned back in his chair. "Uh-oh. You know those are the exact words Kaitlyn used right before she broke up with me? So what does it mean when my _mom _says it? Don't tell me you're taking me back to the circus you kidnapped me from."

"Oh no, nothing that horrible," Jane chuckled. "I wanted to ask you what you thought of… Maura. I mean, I know she's kind of been around a lot lately, and…"

"And that's great. It's nice to know you actually have, like, friends. Hey!" he said, when Jane jokingly punched his arm. "I was kidding! C'mon, mom, I've known Maura forever. She's really chill."

"Chill. That's a good thing, right?"

"Geez, mom, you're starting to sound like Grangela. Yes, it's a good thing. Remember how I introduced her at career day last month?"

"Oh yeah," Jane laughed. "'Dr. Isles is the illest.' I'm still not sure she got that, but I guess it's the thought that counts."

"Mom, she's great. She helped me ace my bio midterm and she actually makes like, real food."

"Hey, I can…microwave stuff as well as anyone else…"

"Which I appreciate. I'm just saying Maura sort of balances us out a bit. I like having her around, it's cool. I…" _I really love how happy you are when she's around. I really love that she makes you laugh. I really love how you don't care if she sees you act like a clown and how you don't have to be tough or too-sweet when she's here, like you were for him. I love that you're just you. I feel like I know you and I understand you now. But please don't make me say this to you because I don't know how. I love you. I love you both, and I love you together. _

"Connor? I'm just gonna put this out there._"_

"Yeah?"

She clasped her hands together on top of the table, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "I'm taking Maura out on a date this Wednesday."

Doing a victory dance around the kitchen might not be appropriate. Joking too hard might not be, either. It was a fine line. Maybe straightforward and honest was the best way to go: "This isn't actually your first date, is it?" he asked, honestly curious.

That definitely wasn't the response she'd been expecting. "Excuse me?"

Very matter-of-factly, he went on: "Your high school reunion was the first date, right? Or did it start before that?"

"I…"

"Mom, it's okay," Conner said softly, the hint of a laugh in his voice. He reached for her hands, taking one of them, and he smiled piteously when he realized how sweaty it was. She got that way when she was nervous. "If we're talking a coolness scale here, Wendy's like a 7, and Maura's like …99, maybe."

"What is this, a scale from one to a hundred? Little mean to Wendy, isn't it?" Jane asked, joking around as she really had not prepared for a way to react to Connor's reaction.

"No, one to ten."

She grinned wide, leaning over and pulling Conner into a hug. He was happy to return it, patting her on the back and letting her kiss him on the cheek. "Son, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that," she said, tears in her eyes as she pulled away. Her hand still rested on his cheek, her thumb brushing it tenderly. "I'm so blessed to have a kid like you. I am."

"You didn't think I'd be mad, did you?"

"Hey, I didn't… I mean no, Connor, I know you wouldn't have hated me for it, or anything like that. I just thought you might need some time to adjust to it, or it that it might be weird for you."

"Wanna know the truth, mom?" he asked seriously, and she nodded, her smile fading. "The more I've thought about it… the weirder it seems to me that you and dad were… married." He felt a little embarrassed to say it and wished he could take it back, not wanting her to harp on her past mistake or make her feel bad. Ultimately he just wanted to try and say how right Maura felt for her in comparison.

"You're right, Connor," she admitted before he could say anything else. "Your dad and I were kind of a weird couple. Just didn't work. See all the heartache Kaitlyn saved you from by ending things last year? Otherwise you could've ended up just like dad and me. Connor, look. Your dad is a great man in a lot of respects. He's courageous and he loves you. But you're right, he and I were not great together. There comes a point when putting on a good face for everyone just sort of wears you down, and when neither of you wants to put on that face for each other or even yourself anymore, that's when you know you're really in trouble."

"Were you ever really in love with him?" Connor asked a bit timidly. There were dozens of questions he wanted to ask, not sure what would be considered insensitive or not- was she a lesbian, bisexual, or was Maura a special case? Had she always been attracted to women, and had the marriage to Casey just been an attempt to put a lock on her closet? Or had they just fallen out of love, and Maura happened to walk in at the right time?

Jane considered the question. "I loved him at one point, yeah. I loved what he was. _In _love, though? That's a tough one, I guess. I don't know. He was my friend, so I looked forward to our time together, but…" She just shook her head, wishing she had a better answer for her son. "I don't know."

"Did you ever love dad as much as you love her?"

The question hung in the air between them, and Jane's heart jumped. How much had Connor figured out, exactly? All she'd mentioned was dating Maura. The word "love" had been exchanged between the two of them frequently, but Jane hadn't mentioned that yet to Connor. She hadn't mentioned all the family vacations she had envisioned bringing Maura on, the Christmas pictures she'd imagined sending out, the home she fantasized about waking up and going to sleep in. Maura rounded them out, and it was a fantasy Jane had adored and feared losing if Connor couldn't reconcile it. But he was in favor of it. He was supporting her, them. This could be real.

"No, Connor," she said, again tearfully. "I have never loved someone more than I love that stupid genius Maura Dorothea Isles."

He smiled and folded his arms, a classic told-you-so move. "Solid."

When Casey had first mentioned his engagement to Wendy, it had been a surprise to say the least and Jane had been a mess. She could care less about Casey moving on, but she couldn't help feeling nervous that Connor might like Wendy more than her. A woman who was home more often, who made nice dinners, who kept the house tidy and her husband happy? How could Jane compete? It was probably irrational, she knew, but she jealously hated the notion that one day soon Wendy might have a "best mother in the world" award or certificate on her shelf, made by Connor like the ones Jane proudly kept at her desk in the bullpen. That was a title she couldn't bear sharing with anyone else.

Not until her stupid genius later became Maura Rizzoli.

And Connor, ever a fair judge, decreed that from then on, the award would be a joint one. It seemed only fair for the best mothers he ever could have asked for.


	2. Secrets

**A/N: Reminder - new chapter, new scenario. No connection whatsoever to the previous installment.**

* * *

Jane Rizzoli had gone the first eleven years of her life without having a true secret.

_dear diary:_

_i think i am in love._

...

Though she'd loathe to admit it, Jane took after her mother very much. They were both un-apologetically opinionated and never shy about sharing what was on their mind. Angela's whole life was an open book, and to a degree, Jane had trouble keeping things to herself, as well. If someone made her mad, she let them know about it. If she thought something was funny, she would laugh. No, she would guffaw. If her team was losing or winning, she would yell and jump up and down and throw pillows.

When visiting aunts and grandmas and older cousins would tease her about middle school and ask if she had any crushes yet, Jane would roll her eyes and flatly turn the conversation to how her hockey practices were going. Inevitably they would giggle and wink and say how cute the boys on the team must be. Jane would cross her arms and leave them to gossip with her mother. She found it all a bit embarrassing, that type of conversation, but she wasn't shy. She had never been shy.

Not until Career Day, when that freaking goddess had stepped into her classroom and changed her life.

Most of the boys in the room, who had been trading baseball cards under their desks during their previous lecture from an exceedingly dull textile manufacturer, sat at full attention when this creature walked in. Jane didn't notice this. She didn't notice that Emily kept trying to get her attention. All she was aware of was this woman's hair and her calves and her eyes and her smile and her blue heels and the flattering fit of that gorgeous dress.

_Dr. Maura Isles_.

She wrote it out on the chalkboard in elegant cursive. Jane realized her jaw must have been hanging open, because she closed it to form an _M _as she mouthed the woman's name to herself. It slackened shortly afterwards once more when Dr. Isles started to speak, and Jane rested her chin in her hand and just stared shamelessly.

Kate nudged Emily and nodded at Jane, smirking. Emily frowned, a little confused by Jane's enraptured state.

Dr. Isles was composed and articulate and interesting. She also used a lot of words Jane didn't understand, but she got the gist of it: this woman worked on dead people. She helped detectives solve crimes through science. As their teacher had assumed, the students were totally engaged with Dr. Isles' stories; she did her best to keep them age-appropriate, and really all she needed to do was explain which technical terms meant "blood and gore" to elicit delighted squirms and awed laughter.

Jane had known there were women who were doctors, but she'd never seen one who looked like this. And she had certainly never imagined such a refined-looking lady would enjoy as gruesome an occupation as "medical examiner" seemed to be.

Her twenty minute presentation flew by far too fast for Jane's liking, and suddenly it was time for a quick Q&A. Emily asked what she wore to a crime scene. Joey asked what was the most disgusting thing she'd ever had to see on the job. Kate wanted to know how much money she made. Maria asked what her favorite type of science had been to study in school. Giovanni told her she was hot. Jane's heartbeat sped up dangerously, and without a question in mind, she shot her hand up into the air. Anything to get that woman to look her way.

Those hazel eyes turned to look directly at her, and Jane thought her heart might seriously rupture. _And then you could do an autopsy on me. But I'd be dead, so I wouldn't be able to appreciate it. _Realizing she'd been called on, Jane slowly put her hand back down, blushing as Dr. Isles smiled encouragingly at her.

"Uh…um… s-so, you… did you always want to be a medical examiner?" she eventually managed.

"Good question! What's your name, honey?"

_HONEY! _Jane hated pet names, and this was the first time she'd ever smiled at one. She was so enamored with how it felt to be called _honey _by this beautiful, interesting person, that she failed to answer right away.

"You can call her Frog Face!" Joey answered loudly from the other end of the room. "Or Roly—"

"See me after Dr. Isles leaves, Mr. Grant," their teacher said, cutting short everyone's laughter. She'd never seen Jane Rizzoli blush like this.

Jane had slumped down a bit in her seat, not wanting to get into a shouting match with Joey in front of Dr. Isles. And then she remembered she had yet to have her question answered, and the doctor was smiling at her expectantly. Sympathetically.

She straightened up. "I'm Jane. Jane Rizzoli."

"Well, Jane," Dr. Isles said, and Jane felt like a balloon was being inflated in her chest. "This might sound odd, but ever since I was about your age, I've wanted to cut up dead people." Everyone laughed (a bit uncomfortably), and Dr. Isles hastened to explain, "Are you all familiar with Frankenstein? I read the book and was absolutely captivated by its concepts. I tried to reanimate several frogs in my science classes, and was unfortunately unsuccessful. But, that did plant a seed of interest, and I became fascinated by the way our bodies work. They're miraculous. They can tell us so much without our even having to say a word."

_Really? Is mine telling you how beautiful and perfect I think you are? Can you tell? Please say you can't. Please say you only understand dead bodies. Not mine!_

And then Jane became the first student Dr. Isles asked a question: "What would you like to be when you grow up?"

Brightened by her interest, Jane proudly replied, "I want to be a cop!"

Dr. Isles' smile widened, and Jane reflected it. "Really! What a wonderful ambition."

Joey spoke up uninvited, once again. "Nah, see, _I'm _gonna be commissioner someday, and Roly-Poly Rizzoli's gonna be my secretary."

"_Mr. Grant!_"

"What?! C'mon, teach, everybody knows girls aren't cops!"

Their teacher was about to respond, but Maura beat her to it: "I'm sorry, young man, but I'm afraid my girlfriend would be a living testament to the falsity of that statement."

A few people gasped, and Debbie lowered her arm. "Oh. I was gonna ask if it was hard to find a boyfriend who didn't mind that you had such a yucky job."

"I'm sure it would've been possible," Dr. Isles said brightly. "I tend to meet the people I date through work; Detective Cooper and I met on a case. She's Boston's most highly-decorated detective, actually."

"What unit?" Jane asked.

"Homicide," Dr. Isles responded. "It's a bit grisly, but that's no reason for a girl to shy away, am I right?"

Jane grinned back. "Yes, ma'am."

When school got out for the day, Jane hurried to the gym where some of their visiting careerists were assembled for donuts, coffee, and more questions. She scanned gymnasium for Dr. Isles, and felt sour with disappointment when the woman was nowhere to be seen. She thought she'd head to the bleachers for a better look when her best friend, Frost, showed up.

"Hey, Jane!"

"Hey."

"Any good professionals in your class?"

"Professionals?" she laughed, making her way to the bleachers. "Uh, I guess."

She grimaced when Joey seemed to appear out of nowhere, flanked by two of his pals. "Oh, she guesses!" he laughed. "You shoulda seen Frog Face today, Frost!" Affecting a feminine manner, he dramatically put his wrist to his forehead. "_Oh, Dr. Isles! Quick, I think I'm getting faint! I think I need some mouth-to-mouth!_"

"Shut up, Joey," Jane growled, giving him a light shove as a warning.

He just laughed. "What, Janie? She's a lez, so maybe you're just her type! You gonna go ask her out?"

Before Jane could retaliate with her fists, a woman in full police uniform stepped between them. "Hi kids," she said. "Much as I like a good fight, there's a teacher in the corner there with a look that could probably kill, so I'd keep from getting into anything if I were you. Walk it off." Her gaze was directed at Joey, who just shrugged and turned away with his friends.

"Thanks, detective," Frost said. "That guy's a jerk."

"Mm, kinda got that impression, to be honest. What was your name, again? Wait, wait—Barry?"

"That's it!"

Jane was about to introduce herself when Dr. Isles (returning from the restroom) walked right up, and Jane thought she might have a heart attack. Looping her arm through the detective's, Dr. Isles said, "Oh, honey! This is Jane, the girl I was telling you about."

At the implication that Dr. Isles had been mentioned her, Jane felt a shiver eclipse her entire body.

"Oh! The future cop, huh?" Detective Cooper asked, smiling and shaking Jane's hand. "Nice choice!"

"I want to be a cop, too," Frost said. "Me and Jane are gonna be partners someday."

"I don't think we're allowed to pick, Frost," Jane whispered, not wanting to sound childish in front of the doctor and detective.

"Hey, it's always good to have a dream!" said the detective. "Tell you what- you guys should come down to the station sometime for a closer look, if you want. We've got a really nice cafe."

"Will you be there?" Jane asked Maure hopefully.

Maura laughed. "You can count on it!"

"Cool! Um… d'you… do you like hockey?" Ugh, why did she sound all breathless and sappy?

"I have to admit, I've never actually seen a game."

"You should come to ours!" Jane said, and Frost nodded his assent. "It's a real awesome sport, Dr. Isles, and our team is wicked good! Our next game is here on Friday at six."

"Well!" Maura laughed. "I'll have to try and clear my schedule."

The four of them chatted a few minutes longer, before Frost said he needed to be getting home, and Jane left with him. Talking to Dr. Isles was the most exquisite type of torture: every second was incredible, but also terrifying. She was sure she was red in the face, embarrassed to have been looking at the woman so shamelessly, and also nervous to have had all that direct eye contact up close with someone so beautiful. She wondered what it was like to get to be her girlfriend.

For the first time, she wondered how it would feel to kiss someone.

As Jane and Frost left the auditorium, Detective Cooper put her arm around Maura's waist and kissed her cheek. "Aww, sweetie."

"Hm?"

"I think that girl's got a massive crush on you. Can't blame her, of course."

Walking home, Jane made it clear to Frost that her interest in Dr. Isles was purely professional. He had no qualms accepting this story, as Joey Grant was a jerk and a bully who routinely liked to tease Jane in particular. Naturally he would take something like simple admiration and try to turn it on Jane, and tell people it was a crush.

When she got home, Jane told her mother that career day had been fine, and she went straight to her room. She shut her door and went to her closet, digging through several piles of old things before she found what she was looking for.

It was called "My Secret Diary!", something Angela had gotten her for Christmas two years ago and Jane had never used. On TV it was advertised as having a lock that was voice-activated. You set a password, and even if your brother overheard you using it, the diary wouldn't unlock if he said the password into the lock- it would only recognize your voice.

The girly aspect of the commercial was what had appealed to Angela, but Jane had been interested in the lock. Using it made her feel like a spy. To her dismay, the technology wasn't quite as good as the ads made it out to be, and she had to say the password ("Yankees suck") with several different inflections before it would open.

It only took her seven tries to get it open today, and then she sat on her bed for a couple of a minutes, pen in hand, trying to think of what to write. Nothing _too _incriminating, just in case someone came and busted it open (although no one in her family probably remembered its existence) - but something to try and capture what she had felt today. She dated the top of the page and hesitated. Something simple.

_dear diary: _

_i think i am in love._


	3. Heartache

A/N: If you couldn't tell by the prompt/chapter title, this one's more on the angsty side. **Warning: character death.**

* * *

_"Honestly, Jane, sit down!"_

_"SIT DOWN!? Are you crazy?! YO, REF! ARE YOU BLIND?!"_

The words her mothers used were ostensibly annoyed, angry even, but the laugh in Maura's voice and the look on Jane's face as Maura filmed her proved that neither of them were actually upset at each other.

_"It's just a—"_

_"I swear Maura, you say it's just a game one more time and—HEY! HEY! That was a cheating m—Maura, don't film me! Film the game, get Lily! LILY! GET IN THERE, COME ON!"_

_The camera panned quickly to the field overcrowded with grade-school girls, half of whom seemed a little more than terrified of the soccer ball they were supposed to be passing back and forth. Jane's encouraging voice blocked out nearly all other sounds the camera picked up, though the screen was filled by Lily Isles-Rizzoli, who had just gotten the ball away from their opposing team. Her coach was yelling for her to pass, but her teammates (and Jane) egged her all the way on to the goal, where she gave the ball a swift kick, and punched the air victoriously when the ball sailed into the net over the goalie's outstretched arms._

_(_It was the only goal scored in the entire game, but anyone just watching the tape wouldn't know that, as the scene ended abruptly. Maura, in her enthusiasm, had accidentally turned off the camera when she tried to clap. When the game ended, she hit the "record" button again, thinking she was turning the camera off.

This was Lily's favorite part to watch.)

_The tape starts again, and the camera is sitting at an awkward angle on top of Lily's piles of gear and Jane's unused chair. This offers a slight profile of Jane as she gets on her knees to be around Lily's height when her daughter comes charging over to hug her._

_"Mama! Nobody else scored a goal, and I did it! I scored my first ever goal!"_

_"You were amazing out there, baby, you really were! Like lightning! I was telling mommy that for a second, I wondered if maybe we'd forgotten you in the car, 'cause you were running so fast I couldn't hardly see you!"_

_Lily laughed and hugged her mother again, Jane clearly not caring that she was getting second-hand sweat and grass stains all over. "You were right, Mama. Playing in a ponytail is a LOT better than hair down."_

_"Bet you don't feel so hot anymore, huh?"_

_"Yeah! And I pretended I was you when I was gonna make that goal!"_

_"Really? How?"_

_"I pretended Alecia was a bad guy protecting an even badder bad guy, and my ball was like what I had instead of a gun, so I pretended I was you chasing down a bad guy and I had to kick the ball at his head to beat him, and I did it!" _

_Jane crowed and picked Lily up under the arms as she got to her feet. She swung her little girl around as she hugged her; only the bottoms of Lily's legs and her feet were visible on screen now. _

_"Maura! Maura, get that camera out and let's have an interview with the Jungle Cat's VIP!"_

_"Mommy, did I play good—I mean, well?" Lily asked, as the camera got picked up and the screen swung around. _

_There was the sound of Maura kissing her on the cheek. "You played beautifully, honey. We're very proud of you. Now…" She held up the camera and focused it on Lily and Jane's faces, then said, "Oh! Oh, it's already on. Whoops!" _

_"See that?" Jane sighed to Lily. "You were so awesome there, your brilliant mother forgot how to work a video camera. Is that silly or what?"_

_"Really silly!" _

_"Okay, official business now," Jane said, looking somber. "Lily, gimme your game face." (Maura barely contained a laugh as Lily, still in Jane's arms, tried to look deadly serious for the camera.) "Is it true that the girls on your team all want you to be your captain, even though there are no captains in leagues this young?"_

_"Yes, Detective Rizzoli! That is correct!" _

_"Is it also true that your coach has recommended you for Olympic consideration?"_

_Lily laughed out loud again. "Me, at the Olympics?! Really?" _

_"I bet you'd win the gold, silver, and bronze, no big."_

_"All three?" It was clear Lily was looking at Maura now, not the camera. "Has anybody ever done that before?" (She knew even at that age which mother was the one to go to for fact-checking.)_

_"There's a first time for everything," Maura responded. _

_"Okay, one last question, sports star," Jane said. "Grandma's making a celebratory dinner tonight just for you. Is it a) brussel sprouts, b) eggplant parm, or c) manicotti?"_

_"C!" Lily shouted. "Please, please, Mama, is it C?!"_

_"It's C!" Jane crowed. "But first, I think some ice cream is in order, yeah?" _

_"Jane!" Maura chided her. "Before dinner?"_

_Lily stuck out her lower lip as Jane had taught her to do, and Jane imitated the puppy dog pout as Lily implored the camera: "Please, mommy, please?" _

_One of the two on their own was hard enough to turn down, but the two looks together bowled Maura over. "Oh, fine."_

_"Yes! That's my girl!" Jane said, before giving Lily a big kiss on the cheek. Lily threw her arms around Jane's neck and kissed her cheek right back. _

That's where the tape ended. Lily rewound the last few seconds four times before she heard a distinctive sniff from behind her. She whirled around and shut off the TV to see Maura standing by the couch, eyes red and watery.

"Mom," Lily said, quickly getting to her feet. Maura waved her off, sitting on the couch, and Lily joined her. "Mom, it's late. What're you doing up?"

"I might ask you the same thing," Maura said. "You've got graduation rehearsal in the morning, young lady. 8:00!"

"I know," Lily muttered, rubbing her eyes. "I just …I couldn't sleep."

"Did you have a bad dream?" It sounded like a childish implication the moment Maura said it, but she appreciated that her daughter just responded instead of pointing that out.

"No." She shook her head, looking down at the floor. She knew if she saw the tears in her mother's eyes, that would make her cry, and she was already on the verge. "I just …I, um… I think of her at times like this." Maura reached over and put her hand on Lily's leg. "You know, times I particularly feel like she ought to... to be here."

"She'd be so proud of you, baby," Maura whispered.

Lily let out a short breath. "Really?"

"Of course! Valedictorian, and leading the field hockey team to the state championship? Honey, that would be her dream come true." Maura opened her arms, and Lily leaned over to be embraced, now starting to cry. Maura kissed her forehead. "You _were _her dream come true."

Lily had just turned ten and her little brother Conner was seven when Jane Rizzoli was killed in the line of duty. Since then, Lily had kept a photo of Jane close to her no matter where she was: one in her wallet from a photo booth, taken at a school fair when Lily had been five. One at her desk from her mothers' wedding. Her favorite was on her night-stand, so far the only possession she knew for sure she would be bringing to her dorm in BCU in the fall: Lily sitting on Jane's shoulders while Maura held baby Conner in her arms. Fireworks were in the air behind them. It was the Fourth of July, Jane and Lily's favorite holiday.

In just a few short years, more time would have passed in Lily's life where Jane had been absent than when she'd been so vibrantly present. That scared her. It scared her that someone who meant so much to her was no longer there, and that with each passing year, Lily thought of more questions she'd wanted to ask Jane and more things about her life she wished she knew. There were things her mother and grandmother and uncles just wouldn't be able to tell her. They all missed her in their own way, and buried deep inside them were little anecdotes that Lily would likely never be told, simply because they never came to mind. Lily envied them that.

She loved the slice-of-life commentaries that these home videos offered. It felt strange to witness the interactions Jane had with her, because in a way, Jane no longer felt real to her. To put it simply, she was a ghost. She was an idol Lily aspired to be like. She still aimed to please her mothers the same amount. Some nights that ache to see Jane, to talk with her and be comforted her, kept Lily awake.

What would she think of me right now? If I asked her advice on this or that or maybe even _that_, what would she say? Would she make a joke? Would she like my boyfriend? Would she have come to each of my games, like she did when I was a kid?

Of course she had always known this had to be hard for the mother who got left behind. Of course she knew the woman had been heartbroken. But Lily was ashamed to realize that it wasn't until this moment, where Maura was red-eyed but quiet next to her, that she had ever _truly _tried to consider how her mother must feel. How her own heartache must eclipse Lily's. _No... no, she'd say it's not fair to compare them. And I guess it isn't. But my God..._

Having never really been in love, it was hard for her to even imagine how it must feel to have that ripped from you. How hard it must have been marrying someone who put her life on the line everyday, and it was just another day at the office. How Maura must have felt on her day off to get a phone call saying the woman she'd envisioned living the rest of her life with was completely gone.

Lily's stomach ached as she remembered Jane's funeral, and how Maura had been so composed throughout most of it. All until Angela had stood by the casket before the pallbearers moved it, and put her hand on it. How she and Conner had mimicked this action, and she had looked expectantly over at her mother. And when Maura walked up, she placed her hand on the casket and fell to her knees, openly weeping in front of everyone for the first time.

"Mom," she whispered, her voice choked with tears. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't… I don't know how you do it. How you can stand it."

She was starting to understand that adults weren't perfect. They didn't have it all together all the time, like she'd assumed as a kid. They didn't have all the answers. That terrified her. Her mother was always so put together, she was so brilliant, she was so steadfast. She had kept it together for her kids when they lost Jane. Naturally she cried and naturally she was upset, but she never talked to Lily about it. She never admitted anything more than sadness.

It had been eight years.

For the first time, Lily heard hopelessness, whimpered out into the dark basement: "I can't, Lily. I can't always stand it."


	4. Halloween

**A/N: Okay, this one could also probably be considered angst, **but at least nobody dies.

* * *

"Okay, Lily bear. This is an extremely difficult rhyme, but I think you can do it. Ready? Here it goes. You probably already know the first part. _'Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat! If you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down your underw—'_"

Lily burst out laughing, but Maura cut Jane off with a light slap to the shoulder. "Jane! Would you quit corrupting her?"

"Relax, Maura! Yeesh. Your mom thinks she's too cool for fun rhymes like that," Jane said to Lily in a stage whisper.

"Or maybe _you're _just beginning to be too silly of an influence," Maura suggested.

"Too silly?! Why, I never heard of such a thing! Lily, lead us onward."

"Can I go on your shoulders?"

Jane flexed her shoulders with heavy sigh. "C'mon, kiddo, we've talked about this! You know I'm getting too old and weak for such shenanigans." (She always made sure to emphasize this rather than ever intimate that Lily was getting too heavy. Maura thought the child could handle such a remark, but burdened by her own memories of being called "Roly Poly Rizzoli," Jane wanted to do anything she could to avoid passing that embarrassment onto the next generation.)

"How about you take our hands and let us swing you, like when you were smaller?" Maura asked.

"No!" Lily scowled. "I'm not small anymore, mom." At six, she was convinced she'd never met anyone more grown up.

"Are you too big for a piggy-back ride?" Jane offered.

With a wide grin, Lily immediately shook her head, and Jane obligingly stooped. Lily practically threw herself onto Jane's back, and whooped out in joy when Jane straightened up and went into a light jog. Maura hurried to keep up, and she was grateful at least for the practical boots Jane had convinced her to wear.

Last Christmas, Jane had given Lily a set of pajamas she'd seen the girl eying for weeks: the shirt and pants were designed to make the wearer look like he or she was wearing Batman's outfit, but Lily's favorite part (and the reason she'd wanted it in the first place) was a black cape that attached to the shoulders with velcro. Lily barely had an understanding for who Batman was, but the thought of running around with a cape was thrilling to her. Jane had nearly shut a laptop on Maura's fingers when the doctor went to research the statistics on children who were accidentally strangled by such accessories in their sleep. (Lily had to be cleared before actually going to bed, and Maura would detach the cape and fold it inside one of her own drawers to keep Lily from putting it back on if she woke up in the middle of the night.)

For Halloween, Lily had naturally wanted to be Batman. Angela asked why not Batgirl instead (which lead to Jane giving everyone a lecture on the existence of Batwoman), but after seeing the costume patterns available, Lily was happy with her choice of Batman.

Her next request was for Maura to be Robin, which she agreed to only out of sheer will to make her daughter happy (which meant to had to put up with Jane teasing her for dressing up as "Batman's damsel in distress.") Jane changed her tune slightly when she saw the costume Maura had ordered, which was tasteful but cute.

As Jane ran ahead piggybacking Lily, she said, "Look over your shoulder, Lil! Mom's having a blast with that cape, huh?"

"I told you they were fun!" Lily shouted gleefully.

And Maura couldn't help laughing as she thought how silly she probably looked, a grown woman in bright green and gold with a cape flowing epically behind her.

Jane's costume was a little less dramatic, as she'd been at work all day until Maura and Lily came to pick her up. Lily was disappointed at first to see that Jane's only dress-up item seemed to be a fake pair of glasses; but then Jane pulled back her hair, untucked one curl to let it fall over her forehead, and yanked open her button-up shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt beneath it. Maura and Lily had applauded wildly.

When they got to the next house, Jane let Lily down to run up the sidewalk. She and Maura followed behind, both of them tirelessly loving the girl's enthusiasm. Lily rang the doorbell, and a middle-aged woman who was sportingly wearing a witch hat answered.

"Ooh! Is this Batgirl?"

"Bat_man_."

"Oh, excuse me—Batman!"

"Trick or treat! …smell my—"

Maura hurriedly reached forward to put a hand over Lily's mouth. "That's enough, dear." She shot an exasperated look at Jane, who was trying not to laugh and barely managed to apologize.

"Well, Batman, you certainly are lucky!" the woman said, handing Lily a bowl to choose her candy from. "I've seen a few parents here and there in a silly hat or fake beard or such—but you got _both _your mommies to dress up!"

Lily stopped her hunt for the perfect piece of candy and looked up at the woman. In a tone of light confusion, she said, "Jane's not my mom."

Clearly mortified, the woman looked at Jane and Maura, who both appeared a bit embarrassed (as Lily returned to scouring the candy). "Oh! Oh, geez—I-I'm sorry, I…"

"It's okay," Jane said breezily, trying to offer a smile of comfort. "Don't worry about it. There's nothing to apologize for."

"But I shouldn't have assumed—but I saw you coming up the walk, and the way she…um…"

Her husband had since walked to the door, having heard the conversation unfold from the living room. "Don't mind her," he said to Jane and Maura. "Ever since our daughter decided she was a lesbian a little while ago, the Mrs here has been trying to find 'em _everywhere_. Solidarity, or what have you. Joan, these women aren't lesbians. And that's okay."

The woman was bright red, and when Lily had finally taken a piece of candy, she yanked the bowl back up so fast that more of it nearly spilled out. She stammered another apology before wishing them a happy Halloween and closing the door.

There were only a few more houses left on their route before Maura said it was time to call it a night—and despite Lily's desperate pleas to keep going ("my bag isn't even hardly half full!"), Maura insisted they head home. The car ride was silent except for Lily carefully counting all the candy in her bag, and naming which ones she could. Jane would chime in with an occasional opinion about the various types, but each time she glanced at Maura, the doctor resolutely kept her eyes on the road, no smile to be found.

When they got back to Maura's home, Angela was there waiting. She had volunteered to hand out candy there, promising Lily to save her some of the extra, should there be any.

"Angela, look at what all I got!" Lily cried, practically running into the house. She promptly spilled the contents of her bag onto the rug in front of the couch, where Angela had been watching _Young Frankenstein_.

"Wow, what a haul!" Angela laughed. "You made off like a bandit!"

"Or, like a Batman," Jane suggested, walking over.

"Cute costume, Janie," Angela said. "Clever use of your work clothes!"

"Yeah? I thought so. Lois Lane's not my speed."

Maura was waiting by the dining room table, removing the mask that had rested mostly on top of her head that night. She also pulled off her long gloves, watching as her daughter started sorting her candy into different piles. Angela looked on with the enthusiasm one would expect from a grandmother, and Jane… well, as always, Jane was interacting with Lily as if she was the most precious thing in existence. Like a mother. Not an "aunt," honored though Jane had been to take that title.

Jane looked over to where Maura was standing, and Maura's breath caught for a moment.

"C'mon, slacker," Jane said, waving her over. "Look at the loot!"

As soon as Maura knelt next to her, Lily said, "Mom, what's a lesbian?"

Angela nearly choked on the Rice Krispie treat Lily had offered her, and Jane averted her gaze. "How'd you hear that word?" Angela choked.

"There was a man at one of the houses talking about it. What're lesbians?"

"Lesbians are women who… love other women," Maura said.

"Oh! Okay. But wait… didn't that man say you and aunt Jane _aren't _lesbians? Aren't you? Don't you love each other?"

"Yes, we do, but we don't…we're not—"

Angela put her arm around Lily, cuing the girl to look up at her. "What your mom's trying to say, honey, is that she and your aunt Jane don't love each other like your mommy and daddy love each other. Lesbians …well, it's complicated."

"It is _not _complicated," Maura said, trying to keep her tone from being too harsh. Lily looked back at her, and Angela looked a little affronted, but Maura didn't care. She didn't want such ideas put into her influential young daughter's head. "Lily, a lesbian is simply a woman who would rather live with or be married to another woman instead of to a man."

"But then who's the husband?"

Angela gave Maura a look as if to say _see? It's complicated! _But Maura ignored it and said, "There is no husband."

"Oh. Well then how come girls have husbands at all if it's not even something you HAVE to have?!" Lily asked, looking exasperated. "Boys suck!"

"Lily, what've I said about using that word?"

She made a face. "They stink."

"You may think that now," Angela laughed. "But someday you're gonna _love, love, love _boys!"

"No I won't!" Lily laughed, which Angela countered with an equally cheerful "oh, yes you will!" and began tickling her.

As this went on, Jane restlessly started putting the candy back into Lily's bag, and Maura gasped, "Oh, goodness! It's almost 7:00!"

"What's that mean?" Angela asked. "Don't tell me it's bedtime already!"

"It's Skype time!" Lily yelled, jumping to her feet. "Mommy, let's go set it up!" And she grabbed Maura's wrist, all but dragging her to the den where the computer was.

Angela sighed happily as she and Jane got to their feet. "Technology's a wonderful thing, isn't it? Ten years ago if you'd told me a man working in Africa could have a face-to-face conversation with his daughter in the States over a computer, I'd have laughed in your face!"

"Yeah, good ole Dr. Faulkner never being around sure is a riot," Jane muttered.

"Jane, don't you start," Angela said shortly. "That man's doing good, selfless work."

"What, like Americans don't need medical help? Like there aren't enough people suffering in this country, who he could help while also being with his—his wife and daughter?!"

"You ought to be a little more supportive of your friend, Jane," Angela said. "That man is the love of her life, and she respects his choices. You should, too." Jane had no response for that that wouldn't involve some choice four-letter words, so she chose to drop it and hope that Angela would, too. She couldn't stand another lecture on how amazing and selfless Dr. Ian Faulkner was. When Angela changed the topic, though, it wasn't particularly gladsome: "What I'd like to know is what a man was doing talking about something so inappropriate in front of a little girl."

"Hm? What?"

"You know! _Lesbians_!" Angela whispered, as if Lily could still hear her. "He should've known better than to start talking about stuff like that when a kid was in earshot."

"Ma, believe it or not, some people don't care. They don't. Maura doesn't care. In fact, she _wants _her kid to grow up with 21st-century ideals and beliefs."

"Look, I don't care what all they do, it's fine. It's their business. But that doesn't mean they should go around—"

"Ma? Stop. I don't feel like getting into this right now," Jane said crossly, throwing herself down onto the couch. "Just drop it."

This sort of remark would've normally made Angela want to do just the opposite, but she held back, knowing she didn't have time to get into an argument right now. "Well. I'm meeting Sean for drinks soon, so I have to leave anyway. Do… you need a ride home?"

"No. I'm gonna wait and say goodnight to Lily."

Angela nodded, then went to the kitchen to collect her purse and coat. She was hoping by the time she circled back that Jane might have relaxed somewhat, but her stance was still defensive, angry. She didn't even look up when Angela started talking again.

"I thought there was something sweet about it, you know. You and Maura. I mean, how Ian's away so often, abroad, and Casey's in Afghanistan. I'm glad you two have each other to lean on. I don't understand how you can be so snippy about Ian being gone and not care about Casey."

_Because Ma, you just said it yourself. I do not care about Casey. He doesn't care about me. We're former-friends with benefits. That's literally all I am to him. I hate when he's here. I let him treat me like crap and I don't know how to deal with this garbage. He doesn't have a kid here dying to see him all the time. _

_"_There's not a ring on this finger," was all Jane mumbled.

Angela left.

Jane slumped over the dining room table and shut her eyes. She didn't hear Maura's soft footsteps reenter the area, and was only alerted to her presence when Maura gently touched her shoulder. Jane blinked her eyes open, and saw that Maura had taken the chair next to her. She glanced down.

"Took those boots off," she said. "No wonder I didn't hear you walk up!"

Maura smiled half-heartedly. "Comfortable as they were to wear, I was happy to take them off. 'Fashion homicide' and all that."

"Yeah," Jane snickered. "Well, Robin isn't exactly renowned for his taste in fashion. Come to think of it, most superheroes probably aren't." She returned Maura's weak smile, and a brief silence followed. Then, "Is Lily getting ready for bed?"

"She's still talking to Ian," Maura sighed. "They always end their calls with a little private daddy-daughter time." She shrugged. "I have no idea what they talk about. But I wish you'd heard her just now, Jane."

"Why, what'd she say?"

It took Maura a moment to answer; she was fiddling with her ring and staring down at it, trying not to cry. When Jane noticed her chin was trembling, she reached over for Maura's hand. The doctor inhaled sharply.

"She said you're her hero," Maura finally got out. "He was admiring our superhero costume, and she said you were the best one because you were just dressed like you always are, except for that T-shirt. She thinks you're a real superhero because you catch bad guys all the time."

"Well!" Jane said bracingly. "That _does _make me a superhero, doesn't it?"

Maura tried to laugh, and nodded to herself. "Jane, it's… not… I mean you _are_, and she can see it, and she loves you so much, and…" Jane reached forward, pulling Maura into an embrace and rubbing her back. They say there in silence for nearly a full minute, as Maura tried to gather her courage. She had to get this out there. "And _I_ love you," she whispered.

"I know," Jane softly said. She kissed the side of Maura's forehead, still stroking her back.

"No…" Maura pulled herself free enough from Jane's arms to be able to look her in the eye. Her own were swimming with tears, one of which fell as she repeated, "_I love you_."

Jane blinked away her own tears before steadily responding, "I said, _I know_."


	5. Dreams

**A/N**: **Okay, enough of you convinced me**. Even though I kind of liked the last one as a standalone chapter, the prompt for this week just gave me an opportunity to expand, so I did.

* * *

Maura didn't think she was breathing. How could she be when this conversation was actually happening - when she had finally gotten those words out and Jane had not turned away in disgust or shoved Maura off her? What did her response even mean? Were Maura's feelings reciprocated? She could feel herself trying to talk, her lips trying to form words that were trying to translate thoughts that felt like they were in another language. Coherence had never been an issue for her.

"What does this mean?" she finally got out. "Jane, how do you—"

She stopped abruptly when Jane wrapped her arms more fully around her and pulled Maura into the strongest hug she'd ever had. Maura responded to it immediately, gripping Jane as though she were an anchor. It seemed to last forever; every few moments, Maura thought Jane would loosen up or even pull away, but the embrace remained consistently tight. To look at her, you'd never really think Jane was that physically strong: she was lean and light on her feet. But Maura was realizing that all the physical strength Jane used on the job was involuntarily working here now. Being held this close was almost suffocating, if only because she was so worried of what it meant.

"I wanted her to be right," Jane whispered, shaking with repressed sobs. Maura was still so thrown by the suddenness of her own admission that she didn't catch right away who Jane was talking about. "That woman who thought we were Lily's moms. I wanted her to just be… to just have gotten it right. I love that little girl so much, Maura, and I love …I love…"

"What, Jane, what?"

"Not what. You. I _love _you, Maura, and it's been killing me not to be able to tell you."

At this, Maura mustered her own strength to push Jane away again, just enough to see her face. She'd never seen Jane look so _lost_, so terrified and grieved and confused at the same time. Neither of them had planned it this way. This wasn't supposed to just come up like this, when Maura's daughter was chatting in the next room to her father.

"How long?" Maura asked.

"I don't know, does it matter? Maura, I really don't know. It just dawned on me one day, and I don't know what to do. That's why I haven't ever said anything, I—I missed my chance a long time ago, and now …I don't know what to do about this, I don't know how to make it okay. I don't want to have screwed us up, I—"

Lily shouted "Mom!" from the den, and Maura jumped a little. She and Jane distanced themselves from each other, Maura standing up as they heard Lily running over. "Mommy, dad wants to say goodnight to you."

Jane had turned away, rubbing at her eyes in hopes that it would make them appear less red. Maura had no way to clear her face of the tears, and Lily stared up at her, frightened. She'd never seen her mother cry before. She didn't know what to ask or say.

"Lily, go get ready for bed," Maura told her, trying to ignore her own tears. "Get changed and brush your teeth and I'll tuck you in after I say goodbye to daddy." Happy for something to do, Lily ran to her bedroom. Maura walked towards the den, but before disappearing from view, imploringly mouthed "_stay_" to Jane. She got in a nod in return.

As Maura talked with Ian, Jane tried to stay calm. She felt like she might throw up at any second. This was so, so beyond complicated and she had no idea how to proceed. Ian would be able to see that Maura had been crying, and if he was halfway decent, he'd ask why. What was Maura saying to him right now? Would Lily notice when Maura tucked her in? How would that conversation go, considering Maura could lie? Oh, God, why? Was having this all out in the open just going to make it that much worse?

Jane didn't know how much time had gone by when Lily walked back into the dining room, where Jane was sitting at the table. She straightened up and tried to smile. "Hey, kiddo. Love those PJ's."

"You gave 'em to me," Lily said, tugging at the hem of the Batman shirt. "Mom's got the cape part of it in her drawer."

"Yeah, well, it looks like your mom's not done with her Skype call with your dad yet," Jane said. "How about I tuck you in tonight, hm?"

"Do I _have _to go to bed?"

"Yes."

"Please, can't I stay up?"

"Nope." Jane stood up and took Lily's hand, leading her in the direction of the girl's bedroom. "It's time for you to go to bed, and that's that, my friend. You've had a pretty long Halloween! I bet once you lie down, you're gonna be SO tired, you'll probably just go right to sleep."

As Jane yawned exaggeratedly, Lily couldn't help laughing. "No, I won't! I'm not tired!"

"Hey, you're a big girl now, right?" Jane asked, as Lily obligingly got into bed. "Big girls like to get their um, their beauty sleep."

"What's beauty sleep?"

"It means you go to bed when you're supposed to so that when you wake up, you, um… you've had enough sleep?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Just go to bed."

"Wait!" Lily called out, when Jane reached for the light switch. "Mommy always tells me a story first."

"Oh geez," Jane chuckled. "Right. Uh, well, let's see. Any issues of Medical Examiner Monthly lying around?"

"Here, read this one!" Lily said, taking the top book off a pile on her nightstand.

Jane really didn't feel like sitting and reading a children's book at the moment, but at the same time she figured it might be a nice alternative to sitting alone in silent fear of the unknown that stretched in front of her. So she tried to rouse as much enthusiasm as possible in reading _The Very Fairy Princess _to Lily, who was an extremely captivated audience. She tried to get Jane to read another one, but Jane was firm, setting the book down and getting back to her feet.

"Goodnight, little Batman Fairy Princess," she said, kissing Lily on the forehead.

"Wait!" Lily said as Jane turned away. But figuring the girl was just trying to extend lights-off again, Jane waved her away and flipped the switch. But before she could close the door, Lily called out, "Why was mommy crying?"

Jane froze in place. She was still too close for Lily to think she hadn't heard the question. How could she possibly answer it in a satisfactory but safe way? This wasn't something she could just brush away like a plea to stay up a little bit later. It wasn't trivial. Anything but, in fact: Jane could hear the panic creeping into Lily's voice. Eventually she turned back, getting on her knees next to Lily's bed.

"Don't be scared, Lily. Okay? Don't be scared. Your mom's gonna be okay. She's a little sad, that's all. It's okay to be sad. She doesn't like that your dad has to be gone so much."

"I cry when he leaves," Lily admitted. "I cry every time he leaves us. I never saw mommy cry about it before."

"Your mom's trying to look brave for you, kiddo. But she doesn't like it any more than you do that your dad's not here for you." When Lily didn't say anything else, Jane gave her a gentle pat and got back to her feet. "Don't worry about it, Lily," she said softly. "It's grown-up stuff, okay? It'll be all right. Go to sleep now."

She closed the door knowing full well that in all likelihood it would _not _be all right, but she _did _believe that Lily would wake up tomorrow with no memory of this conversation. In her experience, kids seemed to have an amazing ability to forget. In the morning, the sun would be out and Lily would sneak a few pieces of candy before breakfast and she would forget that her mother had been crying.

Jane softly shut the bedroom door, then noticed that Maura was leaning against the wall only a few feet away.

"I think she's got that book memorized by now," Maura said, telling Jane just how long she'd been standing there listening. "I think I read it to her every other night. The other ones get cycled through, but that one's fairly consistent. Once I even brought the computer into her bedroom, and she held up the pages and had Ian read them to her."

His name invoked a physical response in Jane. She jerked slightly and walked towards Maura. Before she could reach her, Maura turned and headed for the living room, knowing Jane would be right behind her. They settled on the couch, sitting close together as usual.

"It wasn't a very good connection tonight," she said, idly wiping away her last tear. "He couldn't tell I'd been… you know."

"What'd he want to talk about?"

"He's not going to be home in December."

"Are you serious? You said he promis—"

"I know what I said."

"But Lily's birthday is that month! And Christmas! And New Year's!"

"Jane, I know that," Maura said heavily. "He doesn't think he can swing it anymore! And he wants _me _to tell her."

"Of course he does," Jane jeered.

"He's not a bad man, Jane. I know his being gone all the time isn't great, but he's doing good work. And he's a good father. He never misses those Skype calls with Lily. You've seen the little gifts he sends in the mail. And when he's here, he isn't too proud to have tea parties with her or go to her ballet recitals. He loves her." She shrugged, trying not to cry again, as if this fact invalidated all of Maura's feelings. "He loves her."

Jane put her hand on Maura's knee. "Does he love you?" Her heart was pounding hard in her ears as Maura's breath caught at the question, and Jane unconsciously started to massage Maura's leg. "I'm not gonna I say I don't care how he feels about Lily, because it's good to know you think he loves her. I'm glad, for her sake. I am. But I want to know if he loves you. And if you think he does, I want to know how he proves it to you. I need you to tell me."

Tight-lipped silence was the only response she got, even though she waited and gave Maura quite some time to come up with something.

"Oh, honey," she whispered, shifting closer. She put her arms loosely around Maura and the gesture was returned as if this were the most natural thing in the world. "Maura, do you remember what I told you? What I said on my last birthday, a year after I killed Hoyt?"

"You said the nightmares stopped."

"They did. Those ones did. And I got new ones instead, except they came in the daylight every day. It was seeing you and Lily alone, without him. It was reminding myself that even though you dropped her off at school alone and you helped her with her homework alone and you were always the one putting her to bed and making her breakfast and changing your schedule to accommodate her - it was …seeing a spot in your life for a partner, the place where Ian should be, and seeing it empty. Seeing it empty and realizing _I _wanted to be there, Maura. That's been my nightmare.

"And that gave way to these dreams. Just stupid daydreams that I had, but they're grounded in this weird reality we share. _I _take her to those stupid kids movies you don't want to see. _I _go with you to her recitals and her T-ball games. I know her favorite color and her favorite TV show and I knew what she wanted for Christmas. I got so used to it, Maura, and I didn't even see at first the significance of you _letting _me do it. I feel like my life revolves around you both, because you're so important to me. There is _nothing _I'd rather do in my free time than be with you two.

"I hate having to go home. I hate going back to my crappy little apartment where it's just me and Jo Friday and all this _stuff_ that doesn't mean anything. You and Lily are my home, and I hate that all I can do is dream about it. I dream about the most ridiculous, mundane things, Maura. And maybe you'll laugh or think it's dumb or creepy or weird, but I can't stop myself, I… I dream about Lily coming to us when she has a nightmare. I dream about being here with you for that. I dream about making bunny pancakes for you guys every morning you want them, not just the odd Saturday I come over. I dream about taking pictures of her with her prom date, and giving him a lecture about being good to her, and watching her graduate high school and college and grad school or whatever she wants to do. Because she's your daughter and that means she's going to be able to do or be anything she wants. And she wants you to be happy, Maura, and I'm afraid that when she's not a little girl anymore, she's going to see what I do right now. She's going to see that this set-up doesn't work anymore, and maybe I'm out of line, but…"

She trailed off when Maura slowly held up her hand. Maura inched her fingers towards Jane's mouth, tracing her thumb over Jane's lower lip before resting at her jaw. "Jane…?"

"I can't believe this," Jane whispered, and she was shuddering again. "This isn't supposed to happen."

"I know."

"He doesn't appreciate you. He does not deserve you." Now that she'd started, Jane was finding it hard to stop. These were thoughts and feelings that had been accumulating for years, long before she was sure they extended beyond loyal friendship, and now there was seemingly no stopping them: "I _treasure _you, Maura. I love my job and I love helping people, but there is _nothing _on this earth that brings me more joy or fulfillment than making you happy. You hear that? _Nothing._ I get sick thinking of how Ian just takes you for granted, and I—I never would. I never do. You deserve someone who's going to show you the love and respect that's due. That isn't him. I know you know that, now. It's me. If we could just…"

Maura didn't have to say it. She didn't have to tell Jane how long _she _had dreamed about this very scenario. How many times she'd woken up in the middle of the night, wanting to cry into her pillow because she'd just left a hazy yet distinct world where Jane brought her flowers and kissed her and told her she loved her.

Ian was only one of many things they would have to work out. Maura didn't even want to think about how Angela would react, and she was sure Jane didn't, either.

That didn't stop her from lightly kissing Jane's jaw. She felt Jane's breath hitch, and Maura moved upwards, kissing her cheek, then the corner near her eye. Jane was looking at her in nervous awe, and Maura brought Jane's hand to her lips, kissing her palm and her knuckles and her wrist. As if, after expressing all these emotions and trailing her mouth elsewhere, the concept of adultery was exempt so long as their lips didn't meet.

But then they did, when Jane initiated it. They'd gone from this semi-embrace to Maura practically in her lap, and neither was quite sure how. Her fingers slid through Maura's silk-soft hair, her other hand resting at Maura's waist as Maura's own hands held Jane as close as possible. All around them there was a vague sense of softness, and every romantic cliche Jane had ever rolled her eyes at suddenly made sense. Her lips parted and she felt Maura's tongue slide briefly between them, giving Jane the option of furthering the kiss.

Although she felt stampeded with the desire to go further, Jane's logic kicked back in, and she wistfully broke it off. She could've sworn she felt a hole forming in her heart at the solemnity in Maura's expression, as if a close friend had just died.

This really made it feel like there was no going back. Ever.

"Jane," she whispered. "What happens now?"

"Well…" Jane started rubbing Maura's back, careful not to look away from her. "I hate to mention my mother at this point, but I feel like I've gotta tell you something she always said to us kids when we came to a major crossroads in our life."

"What?"

"It's very simple, but people don't often seem to think of it," Jane said. "You just… picture the two possible outcomes as well as you can. Envision what your life will be like, and how you'll feel. Sometimes it's easy; sometimes it takes a while to think about. And this should really all come from you, Maura, so don't sell yourself short and don't let me …I don't know, try and take advantage or anything. Just try to picture your life five, ten years from now—your life with Ian, or life with… someone else, maybe just yourself. How long can you keep up this charade? Or if you're worried about Lily and really want to make things work with Ian, I… I'd understand. But I couldn't do this," she said, waving a hand in the very little space between them. She shook her head as Maura teared up again. "I cannot do this if you're going to try staying with him."

There was another long silence before Maura answered. She rested her head gently on Jane's shoulder, tucking her legs up onto the couch, and she wrapped an arm around Jane's waist. Angela had lit a fire a short while ago, and it was only just starting to die out, its warmth stealing from the room. Jane tried not to think of how this had been another simple dream of hers: falling asleep in front of a fire with Maura.

"I'm going to call him tomorrow," she said, so faintly that Jane had to strain her ears. "We've …I think he knows I'm not happy, Jane."

Jane tensed and Maura sat bolt upright when a door banged open down the hall. Maura tried to stand up, but Jane instinctively held her back, only to realize a second later that the footsteps scampering towards them belonged to a harmless six-year-old.

"Honey, what is it?" Maura asked as Lily cried "mommy" over and over again and jumped onto her lap on the couch.

"I had a bad dream," Lily sobbed, too frightened to be embarrassed of crying in front of Jane. "It was so scary!"

"Hey, Lily bear, you're okay now," Jane said, giving the girl's arm a light squeeze. "No one's gonna hurt you."

"It was a witch, and she looked like the one on the Weinbergs' front porch, and she wanted to eat me!"

Jane and Maura leaned down almost simultaneously to kiss Lily's head, and Jane couldn't help laughing a little. Maura smiled bracingly and put her hand over Jane's on Lily's back. "Honey, it was just a dream," she said patiently. "You're all right."

"I don't wanna go back to bed," Lily cried, burrowing her head into Maura's side. "Please, mommy, don't make me go back to sleep! Please!"

"How about if you came and slept with me, hm?" Maura offered, kissing Lily's cheek.

"Really?"

"Of course."

That seemed to brighten Lily's mood considerably, and she scrambled back to her feet. Maura stood as well and took hold of her daughter's hand.

"Jane too?" Lily asked, reaching her other hand out for Jane.

The detective looked up at Maura, whose expression looked a little wary, a little amused. "If she wants," Maura said.

Jane returned her gaze to Lily, and after a moment's hesitation, took her hand and stood up next to her. "As you wish."

* * *

**A/N: That wraps it up for this segment, I think. The rest of these truly will be oneshots. But, writing these last two gave me an idea for a story to flesh out more in the future. Thank you for reading.**


	6. Teens

**A/N**: Wow, thanks for the response to those last two chapters. I'm glad so many of you were intrigued by it. Hopefully someday I'll get to fleshing it out, haha. **Anyway, moving on from that. **  
This chapter actually **isn't **a response to a rizzlesfanficchallenge prompt, but someone asked for a cute head canon oneshot and this is what happened.

* * *

"Huh. That's weird. She didn't show up."

"No? Hm…wait. Wait, wait, there she is!"

"Where?"

"Look at her, trying to be all sneaky, getting in the top row- up at the left, see? By Frost. Hey, Rizzoli!"

Jane was just finishing up her laces, and didn't bother looking up. "What?"

"Your girlfriend's here!"

That got her attention.

Jane got to her feet. "C'mon, guys, what're you talking about?"

"Uh, little Maura the Bore-a and her _massive _crush on you," answered her teammate, Ellie. "She's come to every single game, including the away ones, and here we are at the play-offs for the state championship. It took over an hour to drive here."

"So? Maybe she's just trying to show a little school spirit. Y'know, support the team."

"Really? Because I kind of think it might have to do with the stunt you pulled at that mandatory pep rally last year."

(Ellie had, in fact, called it. At said pep rally, after a rather suggestive demonstration by the boys' swim team in nothing but their Speedos, Jane had decided to take center stage in only her shorts and a sports bra. In lieu of joining her team in a choreographed dance number with their field hockey sticks, she kickboxed an effigy of their rival school's mascot. Maura, who up to that point had been surreptitiously trying to study instead of pay attention, spent the next three minutes ogling Jane. She had always thought Jane was a fairly pretty girl, but there was something about the amused cockiness of that act that had really caught Maura's attention.)

"Whoa, wait, check that out," said Ellie, pointing at Jane's expression as she searched the stands for Maura. "Jane! You like her!"

"What? No, I don't! I don't."

"Yeah you do, you should've seen the smile on your face."

"C'mon, Rizzoli, aim high! You're the captain of a team that's on its way to taking a state title. By the time this is over, you could have any girl you wanted. Don't settle!"

"Settle? You guys don't even think she's pretty?"

"Eh. She's weird. That cancels it out."

Jane just shrugged. She looked back up at the stands, where she had finally located Maura—who had of course been staring at her. At the realization that Jane had caught her looking, Maura flailed so badly that she almost fell off the bleachers. Jane was torn between being embarrassed and amused, and she turned away for a last-minute pep talk with her team. Thankfully for Maura, Frost had reached over to keep her from falling.

"Geez," he groaned. "You really are kind of pathetic, Maura, you know that?"

"I do, thank you very much," she said stiffly, pulling a book from her bag.

He reached over again (there was a small space between them) and pushed the book back. "Hey, I was just giving you a bad time."

"I don't like when people do that," Maura replied, vigorously pulling the book out again. "Just think about the implication there, Frost! Giving someone a bad time? Intentionally? It's very rude!"

Trying not to laugh, he nodded and said, "You're right. I apologize for being so horribly uncouth in the presence of a lady."

"Gender should have nothing to do with it."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Should I also apologize for not letting you fall off the bleachers and break your neck just now? I mean if you flip out like that just because Jane looked at you, I'm a little worried about what might happen if you like… ever actually tried to have a conversation with her."

"Ohmygosh, what would I even say?" Maura gasped, holding the book up in front of her face.

"Whoa, girl. _Breathe,"_ Frost said, taking hold of Maura's arm when it seemed she was on the verge of hyperventilating. "Look. I made the offer before. You want me to talk you up to her?"

"And I've told you before, Barry. It's a very nice offer, but I know you're only sitting up here because you feel sorry for me and you don't know me very well and so you couldn't possibly introduce me very well and and and she's so outgoing and popular and amazing and I'm just a nobody, so please leave it. I can watch her play. That's all I care about. That's all I need. Go team!"

Frost couldn't help feeling badly for the girl. When he'd first noticed her sitting alone at the games, he'd slowly made his way towards sitting by her, so she wouldn't feel quite so alone. It always made him sad to see someone alone at things like this. At least school was somewhere you had to be, and if the only empty desk in a classroom was by Maura, well, she couldn't help that. But coming out to a game was a choice, and seeing her so far removed from everyone made him too sad to watch. When she hadn't asked him to leave her alone, he'd presumed that meant she _wanted _company, and they had since built up a sort-of "acquaintance-ship" (as he called it) since then. It still broke his heart to hear her talk like this, though.

"Look," he said. "I'm gonna take Anna out just for ice cream or something after the game- either to celebrate, or drown her sorrows if they lose. What if I invite Jane, and you come along?"

"Please," Maura breathed. "Everyone's going to want to be with Jane. Thanks, Barry, but I'll just stay. I mean, I'll just leave."

The game started, and the stands became much too loud for anymore conversing. Maura was rarely able to bring herself to sit closer than the back row, out of self-conscious fear. But once the games started, she always regretted this choice, wishing she had the chance to see Jane's athleticism up close.

Because she didn't care about the rules. She barely followed them. She was mesmerized by Jane's abilities, by her commanding presence. Small things from up here, really: the swish of her ponytail, the slight bulge in her calf muscles when she came to a sudden stop, the perfect follow-through of her swings.

It never took long. Maura always started out a game with a book, just in case she got bored, maybe even to look to other patrons like she had been dragged here against her will. But within seconds it sat next to her, forgotten, as she clapped and yelled and cheered right along with the crowd. At halftime, with Frost's encouragement, she even went and bought a plate of cheese fries, just to indulge herself for once. (It was a decision she regretted almost instantly.)

The game felt over before it even started, and Jane had led her team to victory once again. Maura's throat was sore for all the screaming she had done, and her hands were numb with applause. Frost was so excited he was actually jumping up and down, and when he hugged Maura, she was so thrilled for Jane and the team that she didn't shy away from the gesture. In his excitement to congratulate Anna, he hopped down the bleachers with nary a thought for his safety, and Maura struggled to decide if she wanted to get closer.

Screw it. Yes.

She made her way carefully down to the first few rows, where she was still a little taller than the throngs on the field, and thus had an easier view of the team. Everyone's friends and families had congregated, and suddenly, Jane found herself lifted on the shoulders of her teammates. She seemed equal parts flattered and embarrassed by the attention, but yukked it up anyway for the sake of the people who'd gathered to congratulate her. The team carried her a bit of a ways along the crowd, and people reached out to high-five her. They got close to the bleachers, and Jane caught Maura's eye.

"Oh gosh," she squeaked. Jane was looking right at her, grinning broadly, hand stretched out expectantly. Maura did her best to return the smile and slapped her hand as she passed.

She was giddy all the way to her car.

Maura had driven about ten miles when she realized she had left her book behind in the bleachers. Any other person who'd driven this long in post-game traffic would just brush it off, but Maura Isles could no sooner leave a book behind than she could a best friend. (Or so she imagined, if she'd ever had the latter.) At least going back she was driving against traffic, and she had good music to keep her company.

It was a little jarring to return to the field and see it entirely empty, when just minutes ago it had been filled with people. It was eerie, in a way, especially as the area was still fully lit. But Maura brushed off her irrational concerns and headed in the direction of the bleachers she'd been sitting in - and quickly realized she wasn't alone.

Someone was lying on the top row of bleachers, right where Maura had been sitting, and they were reading a book. Maura froze in fear, scared of meeting what kind of person might be lying alone at night in a high school sports field. But the person apparently had heard Maura's footsteps and sat up.

The sky was so dark by now that if it hadn't been for the silhouette of Jane's curls, Maura doubted she'd have been able to tell who it was.

"Hey," Jane called out, waving the book. "This yours?"

Well, that was it. Of course Maura had to answer in the affirmative, and as Jane showed no signs of coming down, Maura had to walk the rest of the way up to her. She felt more than a little embarrassed not only at her book choice, but at the fact that she'd been caught returning for it.

"_The Brothers Karamazov_," Jane recited, reading off the title and ignoring Maura's outstretched hand. "Geez! You know, I'm in Harris's AP English class, and we're not on this. Who've you got, Brown? Was this her idea?"

"You're in AP English?" Maura asked.

"Uh, yes," Jane laughed. "AP Euro, too. It's kickin' my butt, but my counselor said I had to take a couple AP's if I wanted to be taken seriously by any colleges."

Maura pulled the book gently from Jane's hands. "Well, this isn't on our syllabus. I just wanted to read it for fun."

"For fun? Wow!" And when Jane laughed, it sounded impressed, not condescending. Maura felt hope fluttering among the butterflies in her stomach. "That's really cool. You like to read then, I guess?"

"Yes. This is my favorite book," she said, and suddenly she found the words just pouring out, like Jane had turned on a faucet. "I first tried to read it when I was eleven, but it was too difficult and by the time I'd finished it, it was overdue at the library. I grounded myself for a week because I'd kept anyone else at the library from being able to read it for those four days it was overdue."

"Oh my gosh, you're adorable," Jane chuckled. She fought a blush when Maura raised her eyebrows. "I mean—I mean, _that's _adorable. Cute."

They sat in silence for a moment, Maura drumming her fingers along the spine of the book. This was the only time they'd ever been alone together, and as much as she'd been nervous of such a thing happening, now she found herself not wanting it to end. Jane shifted, and Maura was sure it was a sign that she found things either awkward or boring, and was probably on the verge of leaving.

"Why aren't you with the team, celebrating?" she asked.

Jane shrugged. "The team thinks I'm with my family celebrating. My family thinks I'm with the team. My friends all think I'm with one or the other." She shrugged again. "I like being the captain and all, but I don't deserve all the credit people put on me. And besides… I'm not really a party person, and they're all gonna be partying and stuff as soon as they get back to Boston."

"Back to—shouldn't you be on the team bus?"

"Didn't you hear?" Jane laughed. "It got totally wrecked this morning. Nobody was caught, but we're pretty sure it was the weasels over at Benchley. We _creamed _'em last week, and they're still pretty pissed about it. Guess you saw that game, huh?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes," Maura blushingly replied. "I've been to all the games."

"So I've noticed," Jane said, stretching. "You don't really strike me as the type who likes sports."

"You're right, I don't, generally," Maura said. When she realized the next logical question would be why she came to all these games, Maura quickly got to her feet. "Anyway, congratulations on your victory. I'll see you around school, I suppose."

Jane quickly got up and clambered down the bleachers as Maura took the steps. "Hey, don't be embarrassed! C'mon, please don't g—AHH!"

Maura had stopped for a split second to look at Jane, and there was something about the severity in her gaze and the way the lights framed her loosely-pulled back golden hair that took Jane's breath away. This made her trip, and she stumbled rather loudly down the last couple of bleachers. Maura hurried down to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, Jane, are you all right?!"

"Oof. I'm fine," Jane groaned, sitting up and clenching her teeth with pain.

"Are you sure? That looked like a really bad fall! Let me get someone—"

"Maura, please," Jane whined, reaching out and grabbing Maura's arm. "It's no big! Just a fall. Look." With some effort, she pulled herself to her feet. "See? Totally fine."

"You might've twisted your ankle. Let me look."

"Maura. Don't. It's okay." Jane sighed and leaned back.

"Then why are you closing your eyes? Are you blacking out?"

"Maura!" Jane laughed. "It was a tough game, and I'm just trying to relax, is all! Come on, just lie down for a second. You'll feel much more peaceful, I promise."

The thought of lying on the grass that had just been trampled and slipped and probably bled on was not particularly attractive to Maura, but her crush had just invited her to do it, so on the grass she went. She thought she might have a heart attack when Jane gently took hold of her wrist.

"Don't freak out," she whispered, "but those lights are going to go off any second now."

Maura held her breath, and gasped when the field lights were indeed shut off only moments later. A few streetlamps down the way kept them from being cloaked in utter darkness, as did a spattering of beautiful stars. Jane took a deep breath next to her, still loosely holding on to Maura's wrist.

"So what's your thing, Maura?"

"My thing?"

"Yeah. I've been in enough gym classes with you to know you're not really into sports."

"Oh, God," Maura groaned, wanting to roll away into nothingness.

"Hey, don't sweat it! It's not for everybody. I mean hey, you kicked butt when we had that archery unit. That was awesome."

"Really?"

"Yeah! How're you so good at that? I kept wanting to ask you, but you always left the locker room before I could ever get a chance to."

"Oh. Well, um… my uncle was always good at it. He's shown me how almost my whole life."

"Whoa. That's awesome!"

"Thank…thank you," Maura said. "I suppose my 'thing' is academics. I like to study. I really think learning is fun, learning new things, I mean. I'm sure you get some sort of high when you're playing, or working out. That's sort of what happens to me when I'm in class and I can feel my mind being expanded, making way for new facts and new ideas, new trains of thought. I love the challenge. I…" She abruptly cut herself off when she realized she'd been rambling, and for that matter, probably sounded just as boring and nerdy as many of her classmates often assured her she was.

"I think that's great," Jane whispered. "I really do. We're not all a bunch of dumb jocks, y'know."

"I know," Maura said quickly. "Erin's in the National Honors Society with me. And Vivian's in all my AP classes."

"You come to support 'em in the games?" Jane asked.

_Dear God, why?! Why are you asking me these direct questions?! _"N-no…"

"Why do you come to them, then?"

"Because… because…" She took a deep breath. "Becauseiwantoseeyou."

"Uh…what?"

Maura gulped and closed her eyes, wishing fervently for the earth to open up and swallow her whole. "I… want to see you. I don't mean to sound like a creepy stalker or anything, I just—I think you're really great. You stood up for Maria Korkman when all those mean girls were making fun of her for her weight, and you're always helping out with school fundraising projects because you like to help, and I've never heard you make fun of anybody, and …I-I guess I just wanted to see you be passionate about something, and …is that creepy?"

"Uhhhm…it's a little weird, yeah," Jane said, and Maura wondered if this was how it felt to get harpooned. "But sweet, sort of? I guess. I think everyone should be passionate about something. That's why I'd never make fun of you, Maura. I get to—people get to see you light up in school 'cause that's what you like to do. I feel kinda bad that we've never really talked before."

"Why do you feel bad?"

"I dunno. We've been in school together since you moved in the district in…"

"Seventh grade."

"Right, seventh grade." _I thought you were really cute_. "And I was dating Joey Grant at the time. Ah! Such fun."

For once, Maura found herself able to detect sarcasm, and she laughed alongside Jane. "I'm sure he's still upset that you're the girl who got away."

"Oh, yeah. Poor guy. His anatomy was working against him. Just took me a while to figure that out." When Maura's only response to this was prolonged silence, Jane's voice returned to a worried whisper in the dark: "Does that, um… freak you out at all?"

"What?"

"I'm gay, Maura."

"Why would that freak me out? Has anyone given you a hard time about it?"

"No. Everyone who knows is pretty cool about it. My family doesn't know," she said quietly. "I dunno, maybe that's why I've never dated anyone seriously. I know they'd find out. I always had like this dream, though, of winning the big game… and having my girlfriend run down the bleachers to hug me and maybe kiss me, right in front of everybody. You know, kind of like what Frost did with Anna tonight," she added with a chuckle. Again, Maura's only answer was silence, and Jane propped up on her elbows. "So what's your deal?"

"My deal?"

"Yeah. Can't you tell lies?"

This was an unexpected turn. "Uh…"

"Remember home ec in ninth grade? We had that batty substitute for a week who was like wicked old and couldn't remember stuff and snapped at everybody? And she couldn't remember if she'd shown us a video the class before, and everyone was telling her she hadn't, even though she had, because we all wanted to watch a movie instead of actually having class. And she looked right at you and said to everybody, 'I'm going to ask Maura if we watched it. Because I know Maura will tell me the truth.' And you said, 'yes, ma'am. We watched it already.'"

"And that's when Emily Thompson deliberately sabotaged my sewing machine."

"She did that?" Jane scowled.

"Weren't you upset, too?"

"Well yeah, at first, I was kinda pissed that you'd do that instead of lying and letting us watch a movie again," Jane laughed. "Even if it _was _about sewing. But I was really impressed, too. I thought it was really brave of you to be honest."

"It wasn't honesty. When I try to tell lies, I get faint. I get hives."

"Wow, that sucks."

"Rather."

Jane lay back again and whistled. "Then again, I guess we could all stand a little more honesty in our lives, right? Being upfront could save people a lot of time and a lot of pain." Maura hummed in noncommittal agreement. "Maura? Can I be honest with you?"

Maura sat up nervously. "Sure."

Jane followed her lead and sat up as well, eyes now adjusted to the dark enough to see the apprehensive look on Maura's face. "I've… kind of been letting myself think you were at these games for me. I pretended you came to cheer me on, and support me, and I… I wished a lot there was something _you _participated in that I could go to, just to support you back. And now I know you _did _come to all these games for me, and I… I really want to kiss you."

Maura's breath caught. She tried to think up the symptoms for heart attacks to make sure she wasn't having one as Jane slowly leaned in, giving her the chance to pull back if she wanted to. But their foreheads touched and Jane was gently cupping the back of Maura's neck, her thumb brushing her cheek.

"International Youth Science Forum," Maura whispered.

"What?" Jane whispered.

"I'm a member of the International Youth Science Forum. Our events aren't announced with quite the same gusto as your sports, but our next one's the week before winter break and—"

"I'll be there," Jane murmured, and she pressed her lips softly to Maura's.

_Breathe. Breathe. BREATHE. Oh, and kiss her back, you moron. _

Jane had already pulled away, and Maura worried that she'd done something wrong. But Jane had merely wanted the chance to whisper "_wow" _before going in again, and Maura's arms wrapped around her shoulders.


	7. Milestones

**A/N**: Okay, y'all convinced me, **this is another continuation of the previous chapter**. I couldn't help it; the prompt fit it. **But please don't expect this to go beyond a two-shot. **Try to appreciate it for what it is. Hope you like it.

* * *

"Rizzoli, where do you think you're going?"

"Coach, _please!_ There wasn't a scheduled practice for tonight, and I've gotta be in Concord by six!"

"You're the captain, Rizzoli, you set the tone for the team! We've got State coming up, and if you—"

"This is the most important night in my girlfriend's life and I _promised _her I would be there!"

It was too bad, really, that Maura hadn't been present for the first time Jane referred to her as her girlfriend.

"Oh, don't roll your eyes at me!" Jane argued. "You think I'm just being cute? That being in a relationship doesn't mean anything at this age? I've spent years devoting every hour of my life to this team! And somehow I managed to keep my grades up! I've never gotten detention or been tardy or cut class. I've never embarrassed the team by getting wasted at a party or flashing the school during a band concert or—or anything! I've given this my all, and I will _continue _to give it my all until we win that state championship. But tonight, the person who means more to me than _anyone _or anything else—she needs me! She needs me right now a helluva lot more than you do."

Jane prepared to storm out of the locker room, but her coach stood up and warned her, "You walk out those doors, Rizzoli, and you can say goodbye to playing State."

A hushed awe fell over the girls who had already shown up, and Jane slowly turned to glare at their coach. She clenched her fists, wishing fervently that she was at good with words as Maura. "I'm an integral part of this team, coach. I don't want to let the team down, and I don't think you do either, and that's exactly what you'd be doing if you chose not to let me play that game. I'm not being a diva," she said, raising her voice when it looked like her coach was about to protest again. "But if I don't go to Maura's forum tonight, she'll have _nobody_ there. Nobody she knows will be there, not even the other kids in her club. She's the representative they chose, and so she went there alone. I'm not about to let her feel like nobody cares."

And with that, she banged the doors of the locker room open and left to a wild round of applause from her teammates. Their coach merely rolled her eyes, knowing that nothing would beat their chances of winning the state title like keeping Jane off the field. It had been an empty threat.

Jane had broken several speed limits and other traffic laws, and it was still 6:30 by the time she reached the International Youth Science Forum's venue. The first parking spot she thought she found was actually taken by a Smart Car, and the second actually housed a motorcycle. She had to go two blocks down to park, and ran as fast as her legs would carry her back to the address Maura had given her. Inside, she followed the signs that led to the conference, taking her up three flights of stairs. When she finally arrived at the proper floor, she was gasping for breath, and she practically slumped over the check-in table to keep from doubling over.

A bespectacled gentlemen sitting there looked on disapprovingly as some of Jane's sweat threatened to fall on the table. "Am I… too late?" she choked out.

He needlessly shuffled some papers. "The conference began forty minutes ago."

"P…please," Jane gasped, grasping a stitch in her side. "I have to be here. I prom—I promised her I'd be here."

"Who, exactly?"

"Maura Isles. Rep from St. Dominic's."

"From…?"

"Boston."

The man consulted one of the programs, checked his watch, and said, "I'm sorry, but your friend's presentation is in all likelihood nearly over."

"What?! No, she—no, please!"

"'Please'? There's nothing I can do for you, miss, it's the schedule!"

"Please, then, let me go inside. She has to—to know I came. I broke so many traffic laws to get here, and there was this awful accident, and the parking … please, just let me slip in the back, sir, _please_."

Finally he decided to let her in, mostly because she looked like she was about to pass out and he'd rather let somebody else deal with it.

Jane wished there'd been a water fountain nearby, but there were none to be found as she sneaked into the enormous conference room. There were more seats than attendants, however, and Jane tried to get as close as she could. Maura was sitting with twenty-four other students up on the stage, and seeing her made Jane lose her self-consciousness entirely. What did she care if people were giving her dirty looks for walking in late—or, for that matter, wearing her field hockey uniform and sweating like a pig when they were all dressed in their Sunday best?

That was to say nothing of Maura. She had taken as much care in her appearance as most girls reserved for the prom (except she was wearing a silk blouse and pencil skirt instead of a gown). Her hair glowed golden as it fell over her shoulders; she was listening to the current speaker with rapt attention, and Jane just tried to focus on quieting her breathing: her gasps were still fairly consistent, but smaller.

"Are you all right?" whispered the boy she had sat next to. He offered her a water bottle, and she started chugging it without a second thought.

She'd drained it entirely and wiped her mouth with the back of her arm. "Thanks, I'll be okay." She took one final deep breath and tried to relax. "Who's speaking now?"

"Peter Jenkins, from Augusta," he said, pointing on the program. "It was supposed to be um… Maura Isles, but she hasn't gone yet."

"What? Why not?"

The boy shrugged. "It was her turn, and she said something to the moderator, and I guess she and Jenkins switched."

It dawned on Jane that Maura had seen she wasn't there, and at risk of personal embarrassment, had asked someone to switch places with her- prolong Jane's chances of arriving. Rather than being grateful, Jane felt nothing but deep shame. She pictured Maura scanning the assembled crowd, finding no familiar faces. How her heart must have dropped.

But then Jenkins concluded his presentation, and the applause set in. Jane silently willed for Maura to look her away, and after what seemed like an aching eternity, she did. The sober look of concentration on Maura's face was instantly replaced by an ecstatic grin as they locked eyes, and Jane smiled widely back. She flashed a double thumbs-up, and Maura was quick to return it. Maura squinted when she saw Jane mouth something, and after Jane realized that cupping her mouth would only make it more difficult to understand, she signed _I love you _as exaggeratedly as possible.

"And we will now be pleased to hear from Maura Isles, our delegate from Boston. …Miss Isles. …_a-hem_."

Maura jumped when the girl next to her flicked her arm, and the audience chuckled as she scrambled to the podium. She had to double back for her notes, during which time Jane ruffled for something in her own bag.

"Good evening, everyone. It's c-certainly an honor to be here. Thank you," Maura began. "As was just said, my name is Maura Isles, and I am a senior from St. Dominic's High School in Boston. I'll be presenting on the role of extracellular cations in cell motility, polarity, and chemotaxis."

"WHOO! YEAH!"

Everyone's attention was instantly diverted to Jane, who was wearing a foam finger with "Isles" written onto it, and she used two fingers from her free hand to whistle. For a few moments, Jane was happily oblivious to the shocked looks in her direction, but then she glanced at the boy next to her and her smile faltered at his dismal expression.

"Do…people not do that here?" she whispered. He stared back at her in silence. "I'm… I've never been to something like this before."

But Jane's outburst of excitement had brought on some appreciative laughter, and people began to applaud preemptively. The boy next to Jane was stunned - no one else had gotten clapped for until they were finished. Maura, for her part, was far from embarrassed. She recognized Jane's expression as the most vocal support she knew how to express, and it put her instantly at ease. It was a good reminder not to be so tense.

Jane understood about as much of Maura's presentation as she had of its title, which is to say, roughly 2% of it. That didn't keep her from beaming with pride, though, and her attention never wavered from the presentation. She was in love with how intelligent Maura sounded. She was in love with the way her hands moved, her body shifted, as she gestured to the diagrams next to her. She was in love with the way the lights made Maura's hair glint. But most of all, Jane was in love with how _confident_ Maura appeared. Nobody in this room was snickering at her high-brow vocabulary. Nobody thought she was boring. Nobody thought it was dumb or uncool to be so invested in the scientific things she was discussing. This was her element.

The only thing Jane had to actively try and avoid was thinking about Maura's parents and how they weren't there. Maura's mother was traveling on business and her father hadn't been able to get out of a meeting, apparently. Jane was certain that if either of them _really _cared, they'd have done whatever was necessary to show up. She knew her own parents would travel half the globe to see her play.

But then, the Isles actually knew of Jane and Maura's relationship and had no complaints about it - something Jane wasn't sure she could say of her parents, which was why they weren't in the know yet. So maybe that was _one _point that could be chalked up to the Isles side.

For the remaining hour, as every other student spoke, Jane just waited for the moments when Maura would look her way. Ever polite, Maura mostly kept her eyes on whoever was speaking. But she couldn't keep from glancing at Jane every so often, and she was rewarded either with a funny face or a blown kiss.

When the last student finally concluded, Jane clapped just as enthusiastically as everyone else, but she was disappointed to see nobody was getting up yet. "Please tell me there's not more," she whisper-groaned. "I don't think I can take it!"

"The panel is just trying to pick a winner," said the boy next to her.

"A winner? There's winners in this stuff?"

"Well, yeah. No money or anything, but there's the prestige and all that. Third, second, first. Nice thing to put on college applications, too."

The panel convened for a full five minutes before finally sending a representative to the podium. When Maura nervously caught Jane's eye, Jane crossed her fingers—then her arms, then her legs, and then her eyes. She curled her tongue just in case. It got Maura to laugh, which was really all she had aimed to do. It also got the boy next to her to hang his head and say, "Oh, my God. _You need help_."

"…and after much deliberation, we have decided that third place shall be awarded to Sasha Harmon, from New Haven, Connecticut." A polite smattering of applause. "In second place, Meg Debren from Burlington, Vermont." (A lot of applause for this one, Jane noticed, concentrated in a cluster of girls sitting in the front row of the room.) "And the coveted award for first place in the New England chapter of the International Science Forum goes unquestionably to Maura Isles, from Boston, Massachusetts!"

Jane leapt to her feet, leading a roomful of thunderous applause. "That's my girl!" she yelled, but remained mostly unheard over all the clapping. The stage was suddenly lit with flashes of light, and Jane noticed reporters there for the first time. People in the audience were starting to disperse and kids were walking off the stage, so Jane felt assured it would be all right for her to at least try and approach Maura.

By now Maura had shaken hands with the members of everyone on the panel (and with a few of her gracious competitors), and was currently getting interviewed simultaneously by three reporters. But when she saw Jane standing at the foot of the stage, Maura couldn't keep from looking at her.

"I'm sorry, I've never done an interview like this before, but is it all right if I go say hello to my girlfriend?"

The reporters affably agreed, and all started murmuring to each other the instant Maura walked away. Jane held her arms out, and rather than take the stairs around, Maura slid off the stage and into a kiss in Jane's arms.

"You are the sexiest dork on the planet, it's official," Jane said, giving her a squeeze. "Is that what it says on the certificate there?"

"Mmm, I don't think so."

"It should. The panel that consists solely of me just decided." Jane gave Maura another quick kiss before adding, "I'm _so _sorry I was late. Traffic was a beast, and then I—I guess I'm not as in shape as I thought, because I was out of breath running here from my parking spot and then up the stairs to this room—"

"Why didn't you take the elevator?"

"…because _you're_ the certified genius here, not me." They shared a laugh over that, and Jane kissed the corner of her mouth. "But seriously, babe, I'm sorry. Coach wanted to throw in an extra practice, and I had to put my foot down."

"I'm just so glad you made it, Jane. Your being here means the world to me."

Jane was touched by the tears in Maura's eyes, knowing it wasn't in her nature to exaggerate. "And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Not in its entirety, anyway."

"Um, Jane. I hope you don't mind I told those reporters you were my… um… girlfriend."

"Really? Cool!"

"You're okay with that?"

"Yeah! Maura, I've hardly even _looked _at another girl since we kissed that first time. I want to be yours, exclusively."

"And you've got me," Maura laughed.

"Wow, check us out! This is a first for me. Having an actual girlfriend and all."

"How does it feel?"

"Absolutely amazing." They kissed once more, and out of the corner of her eye, Jane noticed the reporters and their photographers sneaking closer. "And speaking of milestones—Maura, you're gonna be in the papers tomorrow! You're like, starting your career already!"

"Hey kid, what's your name?" asked one of the reporters.

"Me? Jane Clementine Rizzoli!"

"Jane, how's it feel to be dating New England's brightest young scholar?"

Looking down at Maura's lovestruck, ecstatic expression, Jane couldn't bring herself to snark or even joke harmlessly around. "Feels like a million bucks, sir. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a prouder girl on the planet."

…

The next morning, Jane went down for breakfast and saw her father sitting in his usual spot at the head of the table, newspaper open as usual. Angela was standing behind him, also apparently reading an article in depth. As soon as Jane sat down, Frank lowered the paper, and Jane realized both parents were staring at her. Before she could ask, she glanced at the paper and her stomach lurched: there was a large, black-and-white photo of her kissing Maura on the cheek. She looked nervously back up at her parents, both of whom were wearing masterful poker faces.

"Jane," her father began. "Why didn't you tell us you were dating—"

"A GENIUS?!" he and Angela asked in unison.


	8. Lies

"_LIAR!"_

The shout from down the hall startled Jane so badly, she nearly spilled sent a pot of boiling water to the floor. As she heard footsteps racing towards the kitchen, she hurriedly stepped out in time to see her twelve-year-old son running towards her. Dumbfounded, she opened her arms and for once he wasn't too proud to embrace her; but when he looked up, Jane saw a fury through his tears that she'd never seen in his face before.

"Conner?"

Shaking with rage, he unwrapped one arm from around Jane to point behind him at Maura, who had just walked over looking incredibly guilty. "Mom, make her leave! She's telling a bunch of lies!"

"What?" Jane laughed. "Conner, you know Maura doesn't lie—"

"Yes she does! She's telling lies about dad!"

Jane stiffened and Maura all but cowered under the patented Rizzoli glare. "What're you telling my son?" she asked in a voice made no less dangerous for its quietness.

"The truth," Maura answered, hands in her pocket.

"Conner, go to your room and do some homework," Jane said.

"I'm done with my homework already. Are you gonna make her go?"

"We're going to have a talk," Jane said. "Go to your room."

Conner turned to leave, but not without first giving Maura the dirtiest look he could muster. Maura was almost afraid to meet Jane's gaze, even as she felt entirely justified in what she had done. She knew Jane was waiting for Conner's bedroom door to close; until then, she was pacing, her anger just barely simmering beneath the surface. Then, as soon as the coast was clear—

"What the hell, Maura? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Jane—"

"We start dating, and you think it's your right to just start badmouthing the boy's father to him?! Who do you think you are?"

"Who do _you_?" Maura shot back.

"Who—?! I'm Conner's mother! That means _I _get to choose what he knows about his father, and if that means—"

"Lies?"

Jane looked furious, and her voice was a growl: "I _never _lied to my son!"

"That's a technicality. You've been hiding the truth from him. And you know, I'm sorry, that's just the way I was raised. You don't sugarcoat things in the Isles family," Maura said.

"This coming from the woman who didn't know until five years ago that her father was Patrick Doyle? That's rich!"

"It's different," Maura said coldly. "My closed adoption was a legal issue. I'm talking about other things. How could you go on this long letting your child believe that his father was some Romeo who—who treated you like a queen? How can you stand listening to Conner go _on and on _about what an honorable man Casey was—"

"He _was _honorable, Maura!"

"An honorable soldier, Jane. Not an honorable man. Not an honorable husband or father. You and I both know that. And I know," she said, raising her voice when Jane looked ready to protest. "You hate to discredit anyone in uniform, even the man who _in your own words _made you turn into someone you weren't. That uniform doesn't excuse the way he treated you, Jane."

"What… what all in God's name did you tell Conner, Maura?"

"I didn't start anything, first of all. He asked me."

"What'd he ask you?"

"He was telling me his favorite Casey story for the eighteenth time," Maura said, trying to calm herself down in hopes that Jane would follow suit. "And I don't know, Jane, this time I couldn't just bring myself to smile along. Yes, it is incredible that he saved all the men on that transport. That is a valid accomplishment for him to be proud of, and for you and Conner to be proud of. But that's the problem, sweetheart. You let Conner assume Casey was that hero at home, too, and we both know he wasn't. Honey, biting my tongue has been hell for me, but I did it because I knew you wanted it that way. When he asked me outright—"

"He asked _what_ outright?"

Maura pursed her lips together and shook her head. This time, as Conner had recounted his father's famed military exploit with admiration shining in his eyes, all Maura could think about were the phone calls she'd gotten over the years from Jane where she cried and cried. This proud woman, reduced to tears multiple times by a man who used her and manipulated her and condescended to her. She thought of the time she herself had tried confronting Casey about it, only to have Casey tell her "_Jane doesn't know it, but she needs someone to take care of her. She's fragile, even if she doesn't show it. I'm going to be that person_." Maura thought of the ultimatum he had used to wrangle a marriage, a commitment, out of Jane—only to go back on his word when the insistence for his return was too great. When Jane didn't take more time off to spend with him while the army wined and dined him and told him how wonderful he was. Maura thought of the nurse he'd had an affair with while he was away, and how it had finally pushed Jane for a divorce.

She thought of how long it had taken Jane to become herself again.

_"When I grow up, I wanna be just like him! Don't you think that'd be great, Maura?"_

_"No, Conner. I don't." _

_He'd thought she was joking, taking it for granted that her jokes just never were that funny. But he laughed anyway. "You don't want me to be like an awesome war hero?"_

_"I think there are other war heroes out there who would be better to imitate."_

_His face fell. "Everyone says my dad is great." (Which was true, Maura had to admit. Nobody else was clued into Casey's treatment of Jane, because Jane never let anyone - even Frankie or her mother - close enough to know those things. Maura was the sole witness to the whole picture, and that burden had been crushing her for years.) "Maura? Didn't you like my dad?"_

_At that point, she didn't think she could've lied even if she'd wanted to: "No, Conner. I didn't." _

_For the look on Conner's face, Maura might have just admitted to a horrible crime. He moved further away from her on the couch. "What's your problem? My dad was a hero!"_

_"Objectively, yes. He did many heroic things. And I'm not… Conner, please don't think I'm saying that I'm not sorry he died. I wouldn't say that about anyone. I just did not like him."_

_"Why not?!" he snarled. "Why didn't you like him?!"_

_"I didn't like the way he treated your mother."_

_"He loved her! And she loved him too, and—and they only got divorced 'cause it was too hard that he was away so much, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other! What do you know anyway?!"_

_Leave it, leave it, leave it. But she couldn't. "Conner, I know plenty. And I know that the way your father treated your mom is not an acceptable way of loving somebody. He didn't deserve her."_

_"Screw you!" _

_"Conner—"_

_"Liar! You're a LIAR!" _

Jane had sat herself down at the kitchen table, face in her hands as she tried to process what Maura had just told her. Maura was standing on the other side of the table, idly scratching at the top of one of the chairs. "He hates me," she said simply.

"No, Maura. He doesn't."

"Oh yes, he does. You didn't see the way he looked at me."

"Well geez, Maura, what'd you expect?" Jane asked wearily, looking up at her. "The boy's spent a lifetime idolizing that man, and you took five seconds to start tearing him down." She let that sink in, as if Maura wasn't already painfully aware that she'd gone too far. "Look, babe. Conner loves you. You're the only reason he's passing his science class! You let him keep his after-school snacks in the dead people fridge, and he even let you kiss his cheek in public. Trust me, he loves you. But being a parent isn't all picnics and birthday parties all the time, okay? He's gonna hate your guts sometimes. You're a grown-up and he's not. That's how it works."

Maura slowly sat herself down across from Jane, kneading her hands. "Would you have ever told him?"

"Wh—about us? I told you, we'll find a way to break it to him."

"No, Jane. Would you have ever… ever told him about Casey?" Maura asked, and the silence after she asked it fell like an axe. She could see the answer in Jane's eyes: "You've never thought about it."

"I don't know," Jane said quietly. "I just figured maybe someday it'd… come up. Or no, I didn't. I didn't see the harm in letting him think his father was this great guy."

"You didn't see the harm?" Maura whispered. She reached across the table for Jane's hands, and when Jane didn't pull away, Maura rubbed her thumbs over the knuckles. "Jane. Casey's gone, but that doesn't mean he's just some mythical character that Conner only sees in old pictures. He was a real person who made real choices that had real affects. On _you_. And on Conner, but he was too young to know the difference. And I know he's still too young to tell when you're just putting on a good face, but you can't pull the wool over my eyes, Jane. I see your pain when Conner goes on one of his hero-worship rants. I see it, and it kills me every time."

"My relationship with Casey is separate from the one he had with Conner," Jane said, fighting off tears.

"I understand that, Jane, of course I do. But Casey was far from perfect, and letting Conner go on thinking he was—that's the mistake. That's the lie. Conner has the right to know that Casey may have been a great soldier and a decent father, but that he was _terrible _to you. I can't just stand by and let you shortchange your own self-worth for that man."

"Boy," Jane chuckled, tears stinging her eyes. "You really are something else, Maura Isles."

Maura cocked her head. "How do you mean?"

"I mean… I don't know, I guess you're just so… you. Rizzoli's cover up unpleasant things. We don't talk about them. We prefer pretty pictures to reality, and that doesn't always end well for us." She didn't brush her away her tears, preferring to keep her hands in Maura's. After a few moments, she lifted one and kissed the back of Maura's hands. "Sweetheart, I know your intentions were good." She kissed her hand again. "I know that, and I love you for it. But please. Can you understand why I'm upset?"

"Yes," Maura said. "I know it wasn't my place to tell him like this—"

"He's still just a kid."

"—but he asked me what I thought, and I didn't want to traumatize him by lying and then passing out in front of him."

Jane laughed weakly, leaning back in her chair and pulling her hands free of Maura's. "C'mere," she murmured, indicating the seat next to her. Maura walked over and sat there, and Jane leaned into her embrace. "I just didn't know how to tell him," she said quietly. "I didn't know if it was better to just let him keep on believing in that image of Casey… and whenever I thought about it, I just kept pushing it away. It's been this awful push-and-pull, because I know Conner's got the right to know about it, but there just wasn't ever a good way to bring it up. Or I couldn't think of one, anyway. He's just always seemed too young."

Maura shook her head. "You're right, Jane. We _are _different. I've never thought of anyone as being too young for the truth—at least, some version of the truth. That's not how I was raised."

"Right. Well." Jane took a deep breath and straightened up, though her arms remained loosely in Maura's grip. "He's gonna want to know how I stand on all this now. He's gonna have a lot of questions."

"And?" Maura prompted her.

Jane looked ready to cry again, but she kept a stiff upper lip by averting her gaze from Maura. "I'm gonna be honest with him. And…"

Maura leaned forward a bit, resting her hand soothingly behind Jane's neck, bringing their foreheads together. She gave Jane a quick kiss. "There's more?"

"Yes," Jane breathed, kissing her again. "Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Soon I'm gonna tell him how nobody's ever l-loved me the way you do." Her tears fell again when Maura tightened their embrace. "And I'm gonna tell him how you show it by respecting me, and listening to me, and telling me the truth. And I'll tell him…" She laughed quietly to herself.

"What is it?" Maura whispered.

"You know how in his English class they're doing that mythology unit? He's obsessed with Hercules. Thinks he's the coolest guy ever. And I'll tell him someday soon …I'd go through all twelve of those labors and then some if it meant getting to be with you. And that's nowhere near a lie."

* * *

**A/N: **Just wanted to pop in and thank you guys for reviewing/following and what not, and also just to remind you that these are supposed to be one-shots... Granted I've done a couple two-shots,** but these are not intended to be fully fleshed-out stories. **


	9. Thanksgiving

The idea of a pen pal had seemed very strange to Maura at first. She didn't understand the point in writing to someone she didn't know, but her mother had encouraged her to sign up for the program that her school offered in conjunction with one a few states away. Constance had secretly hoped that in doing this, Maura—who was nearly eleven and had yet to make any good friends—might be able to get close to someone.

She had no idea the extent to which Maura lived for Jane Rizzoli's letters.

_Dear Maura,_

_Holy cow, Thanksgiving is crazy! This year my mom's family is spending it with us, so me and Frankie are sleeping on the floor to make room for some of my cousins, and Tommy's got to share his bed with two of them. We had a HUGE dinner with TONS of food, way more food than I've ever seen in my life! Or maybe just more food then I've seen since Thanksgiving last year. We had mashed potatoes and gravy, and rolls and cranberry sauce, and yams (I think that's what my mom called them. Anyway there's marshmallow in them but they aren't dessert, and they're REALLY yummy! I wish I could send you some.)., and green beans (I didn't eat alot of those though), and of course A HUGE TURKEY! It was delicious! I had seconds of everything. It was all so good but I thought I was going to barf everywhere afterwards because I ate so much!_

_After dinner a lot of the grown-ups started watching a football game on TV, and me and my cousins and brothers went outside to play football ourselves. I'm really good at it. You said you don't like sports, right? You should see me play sometime. I bet that would change your mind! My boy cousins and Tommy and Frankie used to not like to play football with me because I'm a girl and they didn't want to tackle me, but then I tackled one of my cousins and almost broke his arm, and they all said it was okay to get me back. Ha ha ha! Everyone always wants me on their team now. We got really dirty playing and mom was mad, but we had a lot of fun and just had to wash our hands before dessert. _

_Oh my gosh! Dessert was awesome! Cherry pie, apple pie, pumpkin pie, chocolate cake, lemon merang pie (I think that's how its spelled. Have you had it before? It's REALLY good, and I didn't think I liked lemon!). Also my grandma always makes her secret family recipe snickerdoodles, even though my mom doesn't think they're very Thanksgivingy. Whatever! It's food. It's Thanksgivingy! _

_I bet your family had a big party! Did you have fun? What did you have to eat? Did anything crazy happen? My mom thought it would be fancy to light some candles on the table for dessert and Tommy knocked one over when he was trying to get some pie and the tablecloth caught on fire! Everybody was screaming until my dad dumped a pitcher of water on it and saved everything. Everything except the rest of the pumpkin pie, because he got it all wet! He said it was just another day at the Rizzoli's, and everybody laughed about it, even my mom. _

_I hope your Thanksgiving was as good as mine! I can't believe Christmas is so soon! I'm so excited. I'll wait to tell you what I asked for until you write me back about your Thanksgiving. _

_Till next time!_

_Jane R._

After reading the letter for the fifth time, Maura folded it carefully and slipped it into the drawer of her nightstand. She turned off her light and rolled over, curling into a ball on her bed as she contemplated her response. It always took her a few days to come up with good letters, because she was never fully honest with Jane.

Telling lies was difficult, but she found that if she wrote them down, it felt less like a lie and more like a story - a story of what she wished her life was like.

_Dear Jane_,

_It sounds like you had a really fun Thanksgiving! Mine was, too. My parents spent the whole day before baking things together, and they threw flour at each other while they were making pies. It was really silly but really fun, and they were listening to old rock 'n' roll songs while they were making the food. It was almost like a party before the party. When my mom wasn't looking, my dad would let me sneak bites of some of the chocolate they were using. It was delicious!_

_I didn't have to sit at the kids table this year. It was really fun to sit with my parents and all their friends. I didn't understand some of the things they talked about, but I listened hard and even got to talk some. Everyone thinks I'm smart, which is nice. Before dessert, all the kids went outside to play, but I stayed in and talked with the grown-ups. You're right, I don't like sports very much. If I'd wanted to, I could have gone and played with them, but I thought talking was more interesting. Besides, it's really cold outside and I was so warm! I don't know how it is in Boston, but it's very chilly here in Washington D.C. _

_What did you ask to get for Christmas? I never know what to ask for. My parents are really good at surprising me with things, though. That's fun. _

_Sincerely,  
Maura D. Isles_

The next morning, Maura set out to put the letter to paper, but after writing "Dear Jane," she was stuck. Writing out a fantasy was nice sometimes, and it helped, but she was suddenly hit with the desire to write down the truth for once. What would it hurt? It might feel good. She wanted to be honest with Jane, who sometimes felt like the only person who was really interested in her. That might all change, though, when the year was over and the program had ended. What if Jane never wanted to write her again? She pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she started to write:

_Dear Jane,_

_Your Thanksgiving sounds like it was wonderful. Better than mine. I kept wanting to see what we were having, but the cook shooed me out of the kitchen every time I tried to help. _

_The food was good, but it was hard to enjoy it because I was at the kids' table and nobody really wanted to talk with me. I read books above their level and I haven't seen any of the cartoons they like, and they think the music I listen to is boring. Actually they think everything about me is boring. They call me "Maura the Bore-a." So if you want to stop writing to me because I sound really boring, it's okay. I'd understand. None of the other kids wanted to try half of the amazing dishes our cook prepared, because they thought it smelled or looked 'weird,' and they mostly ate potatoes and turkey. They really missed out on some delicious food. _

_Maybe if I had some cousins around, they would be nicer to me, or at least play with me like yours do. These are all just my parents' friends' kids, and none of us really know each other. That doesn't stop them from all having fun together, though. I'm the one that always gets left out. _

_Nobody here really watches football, and the TV got used for video games instead. One kid brought a Wii, and all the kids were playing it, but they wouldn't let me play. I thought at first they just didn't want to let the girls play with it, but other girls were doing it. When I asked if I could too, they told me I'd be bad at it and wouldn't even let me try. I probably would be bad at it, but a LOT of them were bad at it, and they were just having fun. I just wanted to have fun, too. _

_I went upstairs where the grown-ups were, but nobody really paid me any attention. My parents and their friends are all really smart, and there's this one man who everyone thinks is really funny, but I never understand his jokes. He did actually try talking to me, but I got shy and I couldn't think of anything to say. Even when I heard someone talk about a book I really liked, I was too shy to say anything to them about it. People make me nervous, and she probably would have just laughed at me anyway._

_Finally my mother noticed I was there, and she asked why I wasn't with all the other children. So I went back downstairs and just sat in a chair by the TV and waited for dessert, because at least then I'd have something to do. All my books are in my room, and my parents had forbidden me before the party from going upstairs even just to get one, because they didn't want me to try "closing myself away from everyone." At least the characters in books don't make me feel like I'm alone. At least they don't make fun of me. I don't know, maybe they would if they were real. I hope not. _

_My parents aren't religious and they think anyone who isn't religious who celebrates Christmas is too invested in commercialism. I went to a Christmas party once for one of my father's co-workers. It was really nice. The music was cheerful and everybody was happy, and they all ate too much. There were SO many desserts! I had a fun time there even though I was still alone. Christmas has a nice feeling to it. _

_I hope you have a good Christmas this year. Maybe I could send you a present, if you want? That's if you don't think I'm too boring, I mean. I'm sorry I made it sound like I was more interesting in my other letters. I'm sorry I'm not cool. __You seem really cool and I just wanted you to like me._

She hastily scratched out the last line, thinking somehow it made her more pathetic than anything else she'd written so far.

_I'm leaving my phone number here in case maybe sometime you wanted to talk on the phone. I want to hear what your laugh sounds like. You always sound really happy. _

_love, Maura_

**….**

A week and a half later, Maura was finishing up some homework when she heard the phone ring. Usually she didn't pay it much attention, as nobody ever called the house for her - but she'd been a little on edge ever since giving Jane her phone number. She strained her ears for footsteps that might be making their way towards her room, and her heart started beating wildly when she heard just thought.

Constance poked her head inside. "Maura?"

"Yes?"

"A friend of yours is on the phone for you."

"Who is it?"

"Jane Rizzoli."

When she saw the smile that broke out on her daughter's face as she eagerly reached for the phone, Constance thought she might have finally understood the excitement described by "a kid at Christmas."

* * *

**A/N**: Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans! ...and happy upcoming Thursday to you international folks!


	10. Snow

**A/N**: Well, **I did that thing again where this is a continuation from the previous chapter**. More of these are two-shots than I ever expected, lol.

Angela still couldn't believe someone would let their ten-year-old child fly alone. Sure the trip from D.C. to Boston was only an hour and a half by flight, but Angela couldn't imagine putting any of her children on an airplane alone. Because of Maura's minor status, the Rizzoli's were permitted to meet her at the gate. Their group consisted of Angela, Jane, and Frankie, who'd wanted to come along to go for a ride. Tommy had wanted to as well, but with Maura, there wouldn't be enough room for all the kids in the backseat of their old Honda, so he'd stayed home with Frank.

As soon as people began deplaning, Jane leapt to her feet and tried climbing on top of a seat to see better.

"Jane, get down!" Angela hissed, tugging Jane's sleeve.

"But Ma, how'll I see her?"

"We'll see her, don't worry."

"Do you think maybe she'll get off last? Do you think she'll be in the middle someplace? I told you what she said she looked like, right? Sort of brown-blonde hair, and light brown eyes, and she said she'd be wearing a pink headband and, um—and a pink jacket and jeans."

Angela couldn't help smiling a little at Jane's behavior. She never would have imagined that Jane would get so invested in St. Dominic Elementary's mandatory pen pal program; she had initially rolled her eyes at the project, but quickly became enamored with her pen pal. Angela didn't see it as a crush, per se, but she thought it was cute that whenever she handed a letter to Jane, Jane whooped like she'd just scored a winning basket.

"_Ma, look at this picture from National Geographic that Maura sent me!" "Ma, look how good her cursive is!" "Ma, did you know people used to think there were nine planets?!" "Ma, look at this drawing she did!" "OH MY GOSH, MA, DID YOU KNOW FLAMINGOS AREN'T ACTUALLY PINK?!" _

On reading Maura's letter about her sad Thanksgiving, Jane had begged Angela to let the girl spend Christmas with them. Angela had to admit that it sounded like the invitation could be at least appreciated, and she used the number Maura had given to get in touch with Mrs. Isles, who had agreed to the idea quicker than Angela had expected.

_"Now Mrs. Isles, this was just an idea my daughter had. I don't want to take your little girl away from you at this time of year—"_

_"We aren't practicing Christians, Mrs. Rizzoli. December 25th does not hold any particular interest to us. I'm sure Maura would be thrilled for the chance to spend some time with Jane, but I don't want to put you out."_

_"Nonsense! At Christmas, it's more the merrier. We would love to have her here."_

"Ma. MA! Look, there she is!"

Maura had just appeared in the throngs of people, and Angela raised her eyebrows: this child was dressed in clothes that had probably cost more than what each of the Rizzoli's were wearing combined. She seemed unusually stylish for a ten-year-old as well, and unusually serious. No, not serious. Just… nervous? Uncomfortable? Poor thing was probably shaken after flying alone. (What Angela failed to notice, of course, was that Maura had been flying solo for the last three years, usually on significantly longer flights.)

But when Jane ran forward yelling her name, Maura's eyes went to her immediately, and her face broke out into a beautiful smile that warmed Angela's heart.

She could hardly believe what she was seeing when her daughter who hated hugs threw her arms around a person she was just meeting for the first time.

"You made it!" Jane shouted. "Your plane didn't crash!"

"Of course not!" Maura laughed. She'd looked initially startled by this overt expression of affection, but had returned it fairly quickly. "Statistically speaking, planes are the safest way to travel."

With one more squeeze, Jane pulled back to look at her, taking in every detail. "Wow," she breathed, brushing a loose strand of hair away from Maura's face. "You didn't say you were so pretty!"

"Oh, I…" Maura was blushing at the compliment, not sure how to respond to it. "Thank you?"

"You're welcome!" Jane said happily.

Taking Maura's arm, Jane introduced her mom and brother, and didn't unlink her arm until they'd gotten into the car with Maura's suitcase. Once she was buckled in, Maura took something out of her pocket and leaned towards the front seat.

"Here, Mrs. Rizzoli," she said, waving a fifty-dollar bill. "This is from my parents, to help pay for any gasoline you use to drive me to and from the airport."

"What?! No, honey, you hold onto that."

"What? But… you should… no. It's gas money. I have money to pay for food, too, if we ever went out."

"Well I'm sorry, young lady, but you're not going to get the chance to spend any of it," Angela said, pulling out of the airport garage. "Your parents sent you here, and that's the only gift we need, okay? I don't want to hear another word about you trying to pay us, okay?"

Maura slunk down in her seat a little at Angela's stern tone. "Okay," she said meekly.

"Look at all the snow!" Jane said excitedly, gesturing out the window. "It just came in last night! We were afraid your plane might not be able to make it, but I guess they cleaned it up okay."

Maura shivered. "I don't like the snow."

Jane and Frankie's jaws both dropped. "You don't like _snow?!_" Jane gasped. "Is that even allowed?!"

"When there's snow, there's ice, and I don't like ice."

"But you can go ice-skating when there's ice!" Jane said. "And sometimes people slip, and it's _so funny!_ Ma, remember that time last year when we were carrying groceries to the house, and you slipped and all the apples came rolling out of the bag, down the driveway?"

All the Rizzoli's were laughing at the memory, but Maura stayed somber. "What's the matter, honey?" Angela asked. "Did you have a bad fall on the ice, once? Those can be bad sometimes, I know."

"We almost got in a car accident once because of some ice," Maura explained. "It scares me."

"Yeah but don't you like playing in the snow, though?" Jane asked. Maura shook her head. "What the heck? Why not?"

Maura shrugged. "It's no fun playing by yourself after a while. You just get all cold."

"Wouldn't your parents play with you?" Jane asked, as if this would have been the most natural thing in the world.

For the life of her, Maura could not picture either of her parents frolicking in the snow. "No!"

Angela said, "I know you haven't got any siblings, Maura, but what about the neighborhood kids? Your friends?"

"I don't like playing with other kids," Maura admitted quietly, and she was blushing again. "They're not very nice."

"Well we are _very _nice," Jane said, pointing to herself and Frankie. "And you're going to have a lot of fun in the snow with us."

"What about frostbite?"

"You won't get frostbite."

"What about … I'm not dressed for it."

"You can borrow my brother Tommy's snowpants. They'd probably fit you, and we've got _tons _of gloves and scarves and stuff you could borrow."

When they pulled up to the Rizzoli home a short while later, it was to see that Frank was partially finished with a snow fort. He waved as the car pulled into the driveway, and went around to the trunk for Maura's things as the kids piled out of the car. "What's all this?" Angela asked, gesturing to the yard.

"Well Tommy's not feeling too good, as you know," Frank said, nodding at the bay window where Tommy was waving. "And he thought it'd be pretty fun to watch a snowball fight. So I thought the kids could build another fort and kinda get a war going." He crouched a bit so he was at Maura's level, and with a smile, extended his hand to her. "Hi there! Welcome to our humble home, Maura."

"Thank you, Mr. Rizzoli."

"So polite!" Angela sighed. "Isn't she adorable, Frank?"

"Hey, I'm polite, too!" Jane argued, before promptly tripping Frankie so he faceplanted the snow in the yard.

Before their shenanigans could go on too much longer, Angela herded everyone into the garage for some proper winter gear. She couldn't help thinking how cute it was that Jane seemed unable to shut up, beaming as she talked to Maura. At first, Maura was a little overwhelmed - she wasn't accustomed to other kids talking to her this much. She warmed to it pretty quickly, though. She liked that Jane was taking such an interest in her, in getting to know her even more and telling her funny stories.

She didn't feel cold at all as they constructed their own snow fort while Frank helped his son finish the other. As Jane showed her the proper way to support their foundation, Maura talked about her mother's art shows and her father's work. Jane listened with rapt attention, and that was another thing Maura wasn't used to. Kids tended to zone out when she spoke. Their eyes wandered, their minds clearly left, and they would take any excuse possible to leave the conversation.

"You ever make a snowball before?" Jane asked.

"No."

"Geez, that's a shame! Well, let me show you." Jane took a fistful of snow and Maura quickly copied her. "Okay, you wanna make sure you get about this much, okay? Then you pack it like this," she said, twisting her wrists as she rounded the snow into a shape. "If you _really _wanna get intense, you could put like ice or rocks in the middle, but my Ma doesn't let us do that. Anyway, you just want to get it tight enough so that it won't crumble when you throw it, okay?"

"Like this?" Maura asked anxiously, handing her snowball over for approval.

"Yeah! It's perfect!" Jane said, already starting another.

"How many do we make?"

"Enough so we have a pile." Jane glanced over the edge of their semi-circle fort, trying to see if she could get an idea of how many weapons her father and Frankie were preparing. "That's the trick—as soon as the fight starts, you gotta try and not get hit and you also gotta keep making ammo!"

Maura, who had been taking time to carefully craft her second snowball into a perfect spherical shape, looked taken aback. "But if you have to move so fast, how can you make sure they look good?"

Jane shrugged. "They don't have to look good! You just have to be able to throw it."

"I… I'm not very good at throwing things, like in sports," Maura said with a frown. "You might not want me on your side."

"Of course I want you on my side, Maura! And I always wanna be on _your _side."

"You said in one of your letters that you're very competitive, though."

That was true, and Jane could've lied and said it was just a game and winning didn't matter, but she'd have been exposed as soon as the snowball fight began. She bit her lip, then straightened up and yelled across the yard, "Maura's never been in a snowball fight before, so go easy! And we're gonna do a few practice throws!"

Before Maura could stop her, Jane got up and jogged over to the other side of the yard. Grinning, she gestured for Maura to toss a snowball, and Maura nervously took aim and fired. The ball landed several feet short, and Frankie burst out laughing. Jane could see Maura's face redden, and Jane retaliated by quickly packing a snowball and throwing it hard at her brother, who quickly shut up.

"That was a good first try!" Jane said. "Just wind your arm back and throw as _hard _as you can, okay?"

Jane's form and speed had both been impressive, and Maura did her best to mimic it as she bit her lip and took aim again. Frank yelled for her to keep both eyes open, and as she did, the next snowball she threw almost hit Jane's foot.

"Nice shot! Try one more!"

This one hit Jane on the shoulder, and was considered a commendable victory. She hurried back to the fort as her brother and father clapped, and Maura looked flushed with her success.

"See? I knew you could do it!" Jane said, quickly making some more snowballs to make up for the ones Maura had used.

"All right, and we're starting in fifteen!…fourteen!" Frank shouted, starting a countdown and Frankie joining in.

"Are there any rules?" Maura asked quickly.

With her back to the fort wall, Jane shimmied so she was completely hidden from view, and Maura followed suit. "Yep. No leaving the proximity of your fort, hits to the face don't count, and like I said, no ice or rocks."

"That's it?"

"That's it! Oh, except one more thing. C'mere." She waved her hand a little, and Maura leaned closer. "Good luck kiss." Maura barely had the time to process what Jane had stammered before she felt Jane's lips touch her cheek.

"…zero! OnyourmarkgetsetGO!"

Jane turned around and reared onto her knees, launching her first snowball. Maura stayed slumped against the fort for a moment, suddenly not feeling quite so cold anymore.

* * *

**a/n**: And then afterwards they huddled under a blanket in front of the fire with hot cocoa and held hands. The end.


End file.
